Friday, May 4, 2007

i hate myself and i want to die

I've been in bed on and off all day. more on than off. the inside p eople are trying to take control today. and the bad man is here. he sits on my couch and watches me go in the kitchen and then soemtimes chases me back into my room. as long as i get to the computer so i'm not alone i'm alright. so apparently i'm psychotic.

anyways, i hate myself and i want to die. i dont do anything right. i'm never happy. i'm a selfish bitch. i wish everyone else would hate me too so i wouldnt feel guilty about killing myself. i dont want to hurt anyone. so here i am stuck in this life. faking my way through the day. smiling at school when the teacher looks at me while on the inside i'm crying to cry. whats wrong with me? why am i never truly happy? why do i get solonely and then when i'm around people just want to disappear and be alone?

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