Sunday, January 20, 2008

I'm F.I.N.E.

Doing a list. Pretending to be fine. So many thoughts. So much noise. It's so hard not to cut, not to make it quiet down. I'm trying though. I don't know why though. I eventually do it most of the time so why don't I just get it over with and feel some relief sooner? But that makes people mad at me. I can't stand it when people are mad at me. My head hurts. My hands hurt. My feet hurt. My arms and legs hurt. My back hurts a little. I just hurt all over. I've taken tylenol but I'm still hurting. I need something stronger. I miss having vicodin. It actually helped. Lortab helped even more. When you ask for those drugs though they don't want to give them because if you take more than you're supposed to it can be used as a recreational drug. Or sold for that purpose. I just want the pain to stop. Both the inside pain and the physical pain. Why won't it stop?



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