Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Time to use the template thingy! um yeah.

Current Music: Sugar Ray - Anyone

Current Mood: Hyper as heck. Bouncing.

Interesting Node: Asperger's syndrome (idea) This is just one write-up in the node, if you want to read the rest click on "(all of Asperger's syndrome, there are 7 more in this node)" or here

Interesting non-e2 url: Darren Hayes Music Video for "I Miss You"


Caption: A girl named Kylie` who is a friend from #manicdepression made this for me today to cheer me up. She's cool. Kylie lives in Australia with her one year old daughter Ella.

Thing(s) I learned since my last blogging:
How to register my own chatroom on mIRC, and how to make it auto-op me. I also learned (from Dawggy then looked it up for more information) that that thing I do and have seen Daniel as well as other children do where our arms wave and our body tenses up is a often a symptom of autism and asperger's syndrome called "Stimming".

Thing(s) I accomplished since my last blogging:
Not much. Been very depressed all day until a little bit ago when I suddenly got very hyper. But I have had a few minor accomplishments:
  • Registered a room.
  • Made it auto-join and auto-op me.
  • Cleaned out clothes hamper, but can't do laundry til tommorow because grandma doesn't like me doing it at night.
  • Gotten about two paragraphs written for a node
  • Gotten thorugh about two paragraphs of public services notes.
  • Helped my sister Kylee with an algebra problem...

    A2 - B2

    When A=7, B=5, and V=5

  • Made Kool-aid
  • Made blog post template

Current Music: Def Leppard - Long, Long Way To Go

And now on to my ramblings of the moment:
I was supposed to go to the hospital for a CT scan at 7:30 of what is now yesterday morning. I didn't make it and when I woke up at 9am after nodding off while resting my burning eyes at about 5:30am and realized I'd screwed yet another major thing up it sent me even deeper into an already deep depression. I turned the computer off and pushed everything onto the floor that was still on the bed after rather carelessly placing the computer table on the floor. I just layed here all day, sleeping on and off, crying at times, catatonically staring at the walls, the ceiling fan, the shelves, Princess (the Angel doll that Harmony and Dawggy gave me), the floor, the door, or whatever else I could see. My head was full of thoughts that if revealed would likely get me evaluated for a 5150. The inside people were quite noisy. Eventually the stares from Princess' huge blue eyes made me think to call those that gave her to me. I saw the yellow spiral journal notebook that their phone number (and the phone card number) were in. All I had to do was reach down, it was on the floor just next to the bed. So was the phone. I tried calling once, but there was no answer. Later I tried again. They were just walking in the door. They had to bring the groceries in and asked if she could call me back. I apologized for calling, not sure what I really even called to say. She said she would call me back in a few minutes. That was enough to give me the motivation to get up out of bed and finally go to pee. I hadn't even done that since some time the previous night and it was now five or six in the evening. I then came back into my room and curled up in a ball again and cried. She called and I cried and cried but she managed not only to get me to calm down and stop crying but to actually get me to laugh some. Eventually a friend of theirs showed up and she hung up but we later talked on IRC and even Dawggy was on the computer today. He's been ill, mostly from med changes, and hasn't even been on the computer much at all recently.
I ended up cutting some which really helped me get out of the funk enough to at least sit up and try to do anything. Later Dawggy played a sort of a game with me to get me to do something, anything. It was a "you accomplish something, I will" type thing. It was really helpful. They both are very caring and very funny and love me very much and help me more than anyone.
I talked to Marcie and Harmony together on AIM. That was nice. I ate a cheese canneloni lean cuisine tv dinner.
Now everyone has gone to sleep, except me of course, and I'm pretty sure I'll be up for hours. I'm thinking of making some tea. I know I shouldn't have caffiene but whatever.

Current music: GroupX - Mario Twins

Current mood: Spazzy

Last thoughts: Um, Not really. I think I might add a few things to the template. Perhaps a Quote section and a Things to do section. Also, I might add some HTML to make each section title in bold or something. We'll see.



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