Thursday, December 2, 2010

December and Disneyland blog

It is now December.  I have a headache but that is nothing new.  I posted a new entry to my "Skybluefusion in Disneyland" blog.

My landlord knocked on my door early in the afternoon on December first and gave me a spiral cut ham as an early Christmas present.

I am still waiting to get a definite answer from Dillon on which day we are going to Disneyland.  Mom wants us to go this Saturday but he's got friends in town from the military and won't figure out what days he's spending with them and when he'd actually have a day free to go with me.

I went to Target on the 30th and got laundry detergent, as well as snacks and drinks for Disneyland etc.

I need to clean my apartment.  I've let it get more messy again.  I also need to get my library books read and I should do some writing.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Why? by Rascal Flatts

It must've been in a place so dark you couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little hometown
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old
Roundin' third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage, you shined just like the sun

Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
And was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, oh, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place

Oh, why? There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong, they lied, and now you're gone, and we cried

'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song, your absolutely beautiful song

This song is important.  I keep listening to it over and over and over again.  I wish I did not feel so alone and so hopeless but I do but I can't make you ask why so I just continue to suffer each day and try not to complain too much.  I'm sorry.  

Thursday, November 18, 2010

40K and exhausted

I have gotten to the 40k mark on my NaNoWriMo project.  Last saturday I went to a write-in and during the course of several word wars I ended up leaving with an extra 6820 words and 2 prizes.  A small moleskin notebook and a copy of the book "No Plot? No Problem!" by Chris Baty.

I am so tired all of the time.  I am tired of being tired.  I have gone to write-ins the last two tuesday nights at Panera.  I saw friends a couple times last weekend.  My sinuses have been acting up and my eyes always burn.  I just want to sleep all the damn time.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

More than 10K

Just before 3am on November third I crossed the 10,000 word mark.  This is quite an accomplishment to me and it means I am one-fifth of the way done with my goal of 50,000 words in 30 days in just 3 days.  Now I have to give my stupid computer a nap.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween and Nanowrimo Day 1- 1845 words and counting.

After only sleeping about 2 hours I got to Danielle's house just after 1pm.  Danielle drove herself, her mom, and myself over to pick up John and then on to the movie theater.  I used one of my last two $5 gift certificates and added a dollar to get my ticket.  We saw the 2:15pm showing of "Life as We Know It".  The movie was pretty good.  Had a lot more sad parts than I thought it would.  There was a staticy  speaker near us in the theater that was quite distracting.  The popcorn was good with the Kernel Seasons Parmesan and Garlic topping.  We then took Linda home and went over to the house where Emma is house sitting.  There is no internet or tv there.  They have computers and they have a tv but neither are hooked up.  We ordered pizza and then left Emma there and ran over to Target to get some candy in case there were any trick or treaters.  They bought 2 bags of chocolates and we had a total of 3 trick or treaters come to the door.  We ate the rest of the candy.  I bought a box of little debbie brownies and a box of donut holes...writing fuel.  It came up to just under $4.  We spent half the evening telling John stories so I could get more detailed notes (I brought my computer with me) and then we played Scrabble.  John found Scrabble a very stressful game and will probably never want to play again.  Danielle won by quite a few points and me and Emma tied for second.

It was about 12:30am when I got home which meant that NaNoWriMo had officially started.  I did a quick skim through email and facebook and started writing at 1am.  By 2:15am I had 1845 words completed.  In order to finish 50,000 words in 30 days you need to write 1667 words a day.  If I give myself 2 days off (which would probably include Thanksgiving and hopefully a trip to Disneyland since my voucher expires early next month) I would have to write 1786 words a day.  So I've got a pretty good start.  I may write more later today.  Will just have to see how the day goes.  It being the first of the month I have to pay my rent either today or by tomorrow.

Thursday, October 28, 2010


I've thought about NaNoWriMo for a few years.  Several people I've known online for many years participate each year.  What is NanoWriMo?  It's National Novel Writing Month.  From the official web site:
National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.
What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month's time.
Who: You! We can't do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let's write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.
Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era's most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from our novels at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.
When: You can sign up anytime to add your name to the roster and browse the forums. Writing begins November 1. To be added to the official list of winners, you must reach the 50,000-word mark by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins.

This means writing close to 1,700 words each and every day for a full month.  I looked at the stats of participants and "winners" and less than 20% of the people who participate actually reach the 50,000 word mark and therefore win each year though I did notice the trend of a slight increase in winners each year.
NaNoWriMo has been around since 1999.  I first heard of it a few years ago and have thought each year "I think I'll try year."  Well why not make it THIS year?  I doubt I'll actually reach the 50,000 mark but why not give it a try?  Everyone knows I ramble so maybe I can put out that many words...given that my computer survives it.
I have several obstacles in this endeavorer:

  • My computer does NOT like being on for very long at a time and has lots of issues.  
  • I have no real word processing programs installed on this computer because the computer is crap and won't let me...but I've discovered Google Docs which works fairly well so far.
  • This is happening in the winter months which means cold hands and cold hands are stiff and painful which makes a lot of typing difficult.
  • Short attention span.
  • November is when Xmas shopping season starts..the busy season of the year in life in general
  • I have no plot for a book and I'm not very creative.
  • I've never written a fiction story.
  • I've never written anything of length.
  • I have lost almost all music since my ipod has died, and my computer does not let me have itunes etc on it.  My tv has sound problems so the radio through it is iffy.
  • Pain makes it difficult to sit in any one place for very long and is quite distracting.
  • I have a few friends online who are planning to participate but I doubt anyone I see in person will be very supportive.

I've always wanted to write stories.  I've always wanted to write about the silly crazy life I've lived and the way my friends are.  A "fictionalized memoir" is an acceptable according to the FAQ

Any genre of novel is okay for NaNoWriMo. Yes, really, any genre. Fan fiction is okay. Steamy adult content is okay (as long as you are careful about where you post it!). Memoir is a sticky one; as long as it is fictionalized, it is okay, too. We just want you to be excited about writing. If what you're writing doesn't qualify as a lengthy work of fiction, we've set up a group for NaNo Rebels in the forums. 

The strict deadline and the fact that lots of people are writing during this time with the same goal might actually give me enough motivation to put into words so much of what is in my head.  Other people being very clear on my goal and being able to see my progress by looking at my progress bar might really help motivate me.  

So in just a couple of days, at midnight at the end of Halloween I will start this writing and see how it goes.  Even if I don't reach the goal it'll give me a good idea of how much I can write and if I'd ever want to try to write such a long piece of fiction and if I'd ever want to try doing WriMo again.  It will give me a tangible goal.  

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A late night in late october post

I haven't posted a blog in a few months.  My computer and my brain don't work well which leads to a lack of blogging among other things.

The pain gets worse day after day and week after week.  I do my best to hide it so that I'm not bitching and complaining constantly about hurting.  It's hard though.  Nothing helps.  Ibuprofin, excedrin, even lortab don't seem to do a damn thing for me anymore.  I might as well be taking sugar pills.  I feel so hopeless.

I'm lonely and depressed and going with friends just makes me feel worse at the end of the night because I see what I miss listening to them talk about the things they've done and places they've been and things they've bought.  

I wish I could get a Disneyland pass again.  I still have my one day voucher I need to figure out a way to upgrade by early december so I can at least have a getaway.  I miss my happy place.

Well I better go work on a list and not sit here rambling.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

First half of August 2010

The twins turned 7.  We spent 3 days at Disneyland Resort.

It has been an exhausting couple of weeks.

I think the last time I blogged about what was going on in my life was when I was preparing for the housing inspector to come.  That came and went with no problems.

I went to Costco and walmart on August 5.  Then on Friday, August 6th mom dropped Daniel off at my apartment while she took Hannah shopping.  I took Daniel to McDonalds and then we went to Cold Stone Creamery and then back to my house where he played and of course asked over and over what he could take home with him.  That evening John and Danielle came over and we walked down to the farmers market that is held just a few blocks away from my home.  Danielle bought some fruit and an aroma therapy jar.  We came back and ordered pizza.  We watched an Ellen Degeneres special and they left around 1am.

On Saturday mom brought Hannah over.  She had taken the twins for breakfast at Denny's since it was their actual birthday so Hannah wasn't hungry but after a little while I took her to Cold Stone to use the free ice cream coupon.  Then after playing at my house a while while I cleaned up a full glass of koolaid I spilled down the back of the inside of the fridgerator that involved taking the shelves all out she decided she was hungry and I took her to burger king.
 Mom and Daniel met us at Burger King.
Each twin by themselves were very well behaved while they were with me.  Hannah was especially quiet.  Once they were in the same room with each other again all hell broke loose again.

On Monday I got over to Grandma's house around 2:30pm.  Mom still had quite a bit to do before she was ready to go including a trip to the groccery store.  Eventually we were ready to pack up the car and head to dinner.  It was quickly discovered that we would need 2 cars to fit us all and all our belongings so me and Dillon took his car and mom and Kylee and the twins took the van.  We met at the local McDonald's.

It happened to be close to story time at McDonal'd and right where we planned to sit so we sat through that and got free ice cream cones.

Eventually the six of us made it to the hotel and got checked in.  Once everything was brought up from the cars Kylee, Dillon, and I left and mom tried to settle down the twins.  The three of us walked across the street and through Downtown Disney District to get to the Disneyland Hotel.  They have these beautiful waterfalls there we wanted to check out before they get demolished very soon for the hotel remodel.  After looking around the outside areas of the hotel and taking some photos we walked back into Downtown Disney.

Me and Dillon looked around the Grand Californian Hotel while Kylee went off on her own to smoke or whatever.  We watched Disneyland's fireworks at 9:30pm from the area where the buses takes guests to the outer lots etc. before walking back to our hotel.

On Tuesday morning we got to California Adventure just before it opened at 10am and spent the whole day there.  We started the day by getting a family picture with Mickey Mouse.

Then we headed to the back of the park.  Kylee and Dillon took the twins on the carousel as we waited in line for Toy Story Midway Mania.  I rode with Mom and had a higher score than her.  It was the first time we rode it since they updated it with characters from Toy Story 3 and changed out the Bo Peep game for the Dino game.

We saw the Alladin show that day and Turtle Talk with Crush as well as several other attractions in that park.  We had our World of Color Picnic meals late in the day and saw the 9pm World of Color and pre-show from the bridge in the Blue section.  We then checked out Glow Fest before mom took the kids back to the hotel.

The second day was spent in Disneyland.  But Dillon, Kylee and I did spend a little time in California Adventure I think.  The third day was also mostly spent in Disneyland and we saw Fantasmic and from there mom took the twins home.  After they left the three of us went back over to California Adventure a while and it was just as that park closed and we headed back to Disneyland to jump on a couple rides during the last hour of the park operating hours that we realized Dillon's car keys were in his duffle the van which mom had already drove home.  We had to call her and she got the kids to bed and then drove all the way back to meet us back at the hotel so we could get the keys and drive home.

Over the three days we experienced several shows/entertainment:
At Disney California Adventure:
World of Color at 9pm on August 10.
Glow Fest a couple times
Alladdin at I belive 3pm on August 10
Turtle Talk with Crush

At Disneyland:
Magical Fireworks on August 11th (neither Dumbo nor Tinkerbell flew)
Fantasmic at 9pm on August 12th (and caught the fireworks through the trees...both Tink and Dumbo flew but it is hard to see from New Orleans)
Celebrate: A Street Party (I only saw a bit of it as I passed on the 11th.  Mom, Kylee and the twins watched it on the 12th while me and Dillon went off to do some of the rides the kids don't like.

Rides etc. we did:
Monster's Inc (me, Kylee and Dillon only)
Twilight Zone Tower of Terror (once with Kylee and Dillon and a couple more times with just Dillon even though I don't really enjoy this ride)
Muppet Vision 3-D (with Kylee and Dillon...ok this is a show not a ride)
It's Tough to be a Bug! (with Dillon...another 3-D show)
Toy Story Midway Mania (we all did this one and then me and Kylee and Dillon did it again on the last's my favorite)
California Screamin' (The three of us single-rider lined this one)
Maliboomer (Dillon got me on this one even tho I hate this more than Tower of Terror because it will be going to Yesterland next month)
Soarin' Over California (whole family...perhaps not Kylee?)
Grizzly River Run (me and Dillon and Dillon was DRENCHED!)
Blue Sky Cellar (me and Dillon)
Mission Tortilla Factory (me and Dillon...gotta love free food)
The Bakery Tour (me and Dillon...fresh bread samples yum)

First trip on TOT together with Dillon ever

I attempted to take a picture as mom, Dillon and the twins went by on the Mulholland Madness mini coaster but by the time the camera actually snapped it I'd given up and lowered the camera and got a manhole. Kylee said "Now I know what you REALLY think of our family"

At Disneyland:
Main Street Cinema (just a walk in theater that currently features footage from the earliest days of Disneyland.  Usually has classic Mickey and Dillon checked it out one night and the whole family went and checked it out the next)
The Disneyland Story featuring Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln (me and Dillon did this right at midnight so didn't get to check out the gallery really)
Disneyland Railroad (road as a family from New Orleans to Tommorrowland)
Haunted Mansion (whole family did this)
Pirates of the Caribbean (I think the whole family did this..not sure if Kylee was with us though)
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (I think I did this ride twice on this trip...the twins had to do it 3 or 4 times)
Splash Mountain (we did this as a family with fastpasses and mom bought the picture)
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (Whole family did this together right before one of the many times Kylee went back to the hotel)
Indiana Jones Adventure (we did this as a family.  This was the first time the twins rode it and were very frightened in line.  We tried once before and it broke down when we were in line and this time when we went to use our fastpasses the ride broke just as we got to the line so we had to come back later.  The twins loved it though and had to do it again)
Minnie's House (just me and the twins)
Mickey's House (just me and the twins)
Casey Jr. Circus Train (me, Dillon and the twins did this while mom went to buy them tshirts)
It's a small world (did it as a family)
King Arthur Carrousel (also done with the twins while mom was and Dillon took them all over fantasyland)
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (me, Dillon, twins)
Pinoccho's Daring Journey (me, Dillon, twins)
Snow White's Scary Adventures (me, Dillon, twins)
Pixie Hollow  (me, Dillon, and the twins went to this Tinkerbell meet-and-greet while mom held a bench for fireworks)
Autopia (me and Dillon)
Buzz Lightear Astro Blasters (whole family..and then again as our last ride just me and Dillon before heading back to the hotel to meet mom and get the keys to head home!  It was after dinner the first time and Dillon got 49th highest score of the day.  He's REALLY good at that game!)
Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage (whole family
Captain EO (me and Dillon did this and then took mom and the twins to see it the next day)
Space Mountain (me and Dillon.  We got in, moved up a few feet to where they check your safety bar and were taken off the ride and stuck in the hallway with everyone else being removed then reboarded the ride several minutes later and rode it with no further glitches)

Things I'd hoped to do and didn't get to:
Billy Hill and the Hillbillies show
Pixar Play Parade in California Adventure (have not seen it in such a long

time and it has been updated with Toy Story 3 characters)
Main Street Vehichles (most of my family did ride the Omnibus and then the horse drawn carraige while I went to get our Indy fastpasses)
The Disney Gallery
Mark Twain or Columbia or the Canoes to take a trip around the river to check out the new theming details
Enchanted Tiki room (nice 20 minutes to sit in a cool room and relax)
Jungle Cruise  (gotta love the lame jokes)
Gadget's Go Caoster
Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin
Alice in Wonderland (was closed still to instal the safety rail and reopened the day AFTER our trip)
Peter Pan's Flight
Dumbo (been a long time since I rode this)
Matterhorn Bobsleds (The kids got to go on this but I didn't)
Mad Tea Party (a trip on the tea cups is nostalgic)
Star Tours (it closed on July 27 for "reimagining" and will reopen next year as a totally new Star Tours ride)
Mulholland Madness (not a huge fan of this jerky little mini-coaster but it will be closing soon for retheming)
Silly Symphony Swings (not really a fan of the swings but I rode it when it was the Orange Stinger so curiosity of the difference makes me want to ride it)
Mickey's Fun Wheel (not a fan of ferris wheels but its got the best views of the construction projects!)

Things I did but wanted to do again:
Toy Story Midway Mania
Turtle Talk with Crush
California Screamin'
Tortilla Factory
Bakery Tour
Did I mention Toy Story??
World of Color!!!!!!
Lincoln preshow area (The Disneyland Story)
Indiana Jones
Buzz Lightyear

What I haven't talked about much is food.  On the first night we ate at the
local McDonalds before heading to Anaheim.
When you order a fish sandwhich there with "extra everything" you even get XTRA FOFPTY!  I will never help Kylee order again ;

The first morning there we just ate snack cakess and such that we brought with us for breakfast.  We then had the picnic meals we had ordered ahead of time for lunch.  Mine was the Little Squirt's Box which was a collection of snacks.  It included a souvenir World of Color light up bracelet, sliced apples, string cheese, a yoplait yogurt, gold fish crackers, a confetti vanilla cupcake and a juice box.  The twins had the same only chose milk for their drink.  Mom, Kylee and Dillon all got the European Antipasto which had cured meats, regional cheese, pepperronicini, artichoke heart and sun-dried tomatoes,Carr's® water crackers, balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil, Caprese salad  skewers, fresh mozzarella and baby heirloom tomatoes, Chocolate-dipped  tiramisu and a bottle of Coke.  (Pictures and descriptions of the picnic meals from Disneyland's official website.)

Mom and the twins also had hotdogs.  Kylee got something on one of her many trips back to the hotel.  That evening Dillon bought some honey feta french fries from the Greek food truck that was out at the Glow Fest.

Me and Dillon walked to McDonalds on our way back to the hotel.

On the second full day we had breakfast buffets at the resturant in the Anaheim Plaza Hotel where we stayed.  We had Pizza Port for dinner.  Mom and Hannah shared fetucini i think it is.  Dillon I believe had spaghetti and me and Daniel shared spaghetti and then shared another order of spaghetti.  Mom and Dillon also shared a salad.  Kylee joined us at the end of dinner and ate off everyones plates despite telling us she had had a footlong AND a six inch subway earlier in the day.

On our final day Dillon went to McDonalds for us all and then had to go back because they'd left out our 3 orders of Cini-melts (2 of which was what I planned to have as MY breakfast).  We ended up eating dinner at Plaza Inn on Main Street after much arguement with the twins.  Me and Daniel shared the marinera pasta.

A few random pictures from the trip just thrown in here:
Uh-oh they spotted the paparazzi!  

By the time I got home from my family's house after that last day it was  about 2am.  Kylee called me before 1pm.  That was about the third of fourth  time my phone had rung that morning, the other calls were the bank reminding me I have an available balance of less than $1000 and Nielson Homescan telling me if I don't transmit I'll be dropped from the program.  My computer is crap and won't let me install the necessary program though so I'm screwed.  Kylee said Rick (our father) was going to come up here that evening and if I would go to dinner with them.  She called a couple more times that afternoon in between talking to Rick to work out details.
Originally he'd wanted to go to Home Town Buffet but I don't like that place and suggested Sizzler which since we all just got salad bars is about the same price.  I picked up Kylee and Dillon and met Rick and our younger brother Richard (who is going into 6th grade this year) at Sizzler at 6pm.  After we all ate we went out to the cars and sat in his van and watched the DVD of Kylee's latest choir concert.  They headed home and I took Kylee and Dillon with me to fill my gas tank and then back to their house and was there a few minutes before I headed home.

On Saturday Zackary called and we talked for over an hour.  On Monday I talked to my mom a bit.  On Tuesday I talked to Danielle for like 2 hours  catching up.  She told me about their trip to Texas this past week.  I told  her about our trip to Anaheim.

Tuesday was one of those days where the pain was so bad I simply could not function.  My back hurt so bad I had a hard time breathing despite the pain meds.  My head, neck, shoulders, etc all hurt.  I think the trip caught up to me.

This blog took a looong time to write and edit.  If I can get my hands on mom's pictures I may post some of those eventually as well as the videos we took.


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