I don't know

I don't know what to say. I don't know how I feel. I don't know what is the truth and what is lies. I keep crying. I don't know why. I wish I could just die or at least cut so I'd feel better. I'm so mean to Harmony. I hate it but I hate her for loving me. I even told her that. If only she could hate me I'd finally have a good reason to die. She wont let go of me.