A late night in late october post

I haven't posted a blog in a few months.  My computer and my brain don't work well which leads to a lack of blogging among other things.

The pain gets worse day after day and week after week.  I do my best to hide it so that I'm not bitching and complaining constantly about hurting.  It's hard though.  Nothing helps.  Ibuprofin, excedrin, even lortab don't seem to do a damn thing for me anymore.  I might as well be taking sugar pills.  I feel so hopeless.

I'm lonely and depressed and going with friends just makes me feel worse at the end of the night because I see what I miss listening to them talk about the things they've done and places they've been and things they've bought.  

I wish I could get a Disneyland pass again.  I still have my one day voucher I need to figure out a way to upgrade by early december so I can at least have a getaway.  I miss my happy place.

Well I better go work on a list and not sit here rambling.