Sunday, May 11, 2008

last night

Last night John and Danielle came over. We had a good time. We talked. We ate pizza. We played Life Twists and Turns board game (I won!). We messed around on the computer. Looked at old yearbooks and looked up people on myspace. We just hung out. I’m glad they came over. It’s good to have friends like that. Marcie was invited but it was all last minute and she already had plans with her boyfriend…a football game or something. I don’t remember exactly.

I’ve been looking at Disneyland videos on youtube. I find them very interesting and I really want to go to the park again. It’s been way too long. Last time I went was the first week of January! Unfortunately I just haven’t felt physically up to going somewhere like that. My family has been a few times. I can’t even go to the grocery store without feeling like I’m going to collapse. I then go home and lay down and don’t move because I feel so tired, weak, and achey. I hate this.

I went like 2 full days without ending up throwing up. Yesterday afternoon I threw up but I managed to eat pizza without getting sick and today I had stuffed shells pasta and have not thrown up, but my stomach hurts. My ankles have really been bothering me last couple days. I have lots of other pain too which is keeping me from getting to sleep. My doctor don’t want me taking any pills because we don’t know what is wrong with my stomach.

On May 28th I have an appointment to have an endoscopy. I am so dreading this. My mom is taking me. I just hope it lets them figure out what’s wrong and then fix it. I’m so sick of feeling like shit everyday!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

purity test

You Are 76% Pure

You're pretty pure, and you have no plans on changing that.

You do have a devilish side though... and it will probably get the better of you.

A true friend

My definition of a “true friend” has been questioned.

PhotobucketA true friend is someone that sticks with you through thick and thin, NO MATTER WHAT.

PhotobucketA true friend is there for you when you need them most, without cursing you for needing them and without complaint.

PhotobucketA true friend would never threaten you in any way and does NOT continuously remind you that you “owe” them for all the things they’ve ever done for you.

PhotobucketA true friend doesn’t run from your problems but asks you to talk about them.

A true friend doesn’t lie to you and call you the liar.

PhotobucketA true friend supports you in any decision you make.

PhotobucketA true friend doesn’t remind you of every mistake you’ve ever made, but reminds you of the good things you’ve done.

PhotobucketA true friend really means it when they say they love and care about you, and show it!

PhotobucketA true friend can be told anything without making you feel bad.

PhotobucketA true friend remembers the things you did for them and the times you were there for them, not just what they did for you.

PhotobucketAn untrue friend will say they don’t want you in their life and then continue to contact you to put you down and threaten you, reading all the stuff you post.
So now we know my definition of a true friend! I have true friends, most notably is Marcie. She has always been there, no matter what. And I hope I’ve always been there for her, no matter what. She fulfills all the things I mentioned above and then some. I hope she realizes how much I appreciate her.


Saturday, May 3, 2008


It has been a while since I’ve written anything. I’ve been sick. A couple weeks ago I went to the er on a Thursday night and they took my gallbladder out that Saturday. I was very sore from the surgery but the soreness has mostly gone away now but I’m still just as sick as I was before going into the hospital. Most of what I eat does not stay down. I’m always either constipated or have diarrhea. A couple times I had blood in my stool. My stomach almost always hurts and whenever I eat anything or even drink too much it hurts worse. I get heartburn and acid reflux pretty bad most of the time. I’ve got an appointment with a gastroenterologist May 8. Hopefully they can help me. The doctor who wrote the referral said they will probably want to do a colonoscopy. I’ve heard the 2 days before that procedure are very miserable. I just wish I could die and not have to go through any thing else. Last night I had chicken noodle soup and it came back up before I could even put my bowl in the sink. I still need to wash the dishes. I haven’t gone and gotten my mail like all week. I’m feeling really terrible at the moment though and don’t feel like walking right now, for I might throw up again if I move around too much at the moment.

I don’t do much of anything now. I dropped out of school weeks ago. I haven’t been going to group at the clinic. I go to doctors appointments and on the days I have doctor appointments I go to my moms house. Other than that I pretty much stay on my couch and try not to throw up. I’ve come to discover who my true friends are and there aren’t as many of them as I once thought. I pretty much keep to myself now online. I used too many minutes on my phone this past month since I was in the hospital for part of the time and now most of my friends talk to me on the phone instead of those who I used to talk to online.