Tuesday, February 8, 2011

February 5, and 6

Saturday February the fifth was a lonely saturday.  Spent time chatting on micechat and then on facebook when the site went down for maintenance from 10pm until about 3:30am and tried to work on a list.  Was not a good night though.  I have not been feeling well both physically and mentally.  I am a mess.  I am not sure what sent me over the edge but I cut on saturday evening for the first time in a long time.  As I said, it was a bad night.  Was in a mixed hyper/depressed state.  The most dangerous mood there is.  It's when I get into trouble.

Sunday the sixth was Super Bowl Sunday.  I did not watch it.  I'll probably look online for the commercials at some point but I don't care that much really.  It was another not great night.  Did not feel well at all.  Hurting bad, stomach ache, migraine, blah blah blah.  And mentally spiralling.  Struggling bad and it's hard to hide.  I feel so hopeless so often.  I really try to find things to look forward to, like planning trips to Disneyland but it's hard.  I'm sick and tired of feeling like shit.  I'm tired of things not working like they should.  I'm tired.  



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