Am I tired or lazy or what?

I haven't felt like doing anything lately. It's a challenge just to get on the computer. I do very little of anything anymore. I lay in bed as much as I can. I flip channels on the tv (we've got cable now so there's more channels to flip through) or try to sleep. There are things on the computer I feel obligated to do (use my votes on e2, keep up with the LifeSIGNS board and email since I'm a Director, check my emails, write for e2, etc). I've only been doing some of those things.

I hate myself. I want to cut. I haven't been cutting lately but the urges are just building up worse and worse. I don't want to live anymore because I have no purpose or usefulness.