still hating myself

Dawggy is trying to help me with a list. I'm having trouble focusing on the list. I can't get the thoughts of si out of my head. I've only cut a little bit today but i havve cut. i so desperatley want to cut more but everyone thinks si is such a bad thing so i try not to do it but i'm not very good at not doing it. when i feel the need to do it i usually do it. i'm weak like that.