Best shirt....stupidity

I didn't go to clubhouse this morning cuz I just couldn't get myself out of bed. I suck. I was getting dressed to go get my meds this afternoon and I cut my leg. I bent over and got blood on my best shirt, the shirt I wear when I'm "dressed up" a bit. The white one with the pretty 3/4 sleeves. I tried to cllean it up but i dont know how to get the blood out. then i cried and then i cried crimson a little more. then i went to grandmas. ate a donut. played with the twins and the dogs a bit. grandma gave me some milk, another doughnut, an orange, and 2 bananas to bring home. i'm crying again (crystal not crimson but i want to cry crimson tears) i wish i could just die but thatd hurt my family and my friends and i dont want to hurt anybody anymore than i already have. i know people care about me and love me. i just some times wish no one did so i could end it all and no one would get hurt.

i try to study. i cry and i sleep and i cut and i eat. i sleep. i cry. i sleep. i cut. i try to study. i sleep.... i don't get much done.

I HATE ME, MOST OF THE INSIDE PEOPLE HATE ME, AND WE ALL WANT ME TO DIE!