Thursday, August 25, 2005


it's about 2:15am. I took my new meds (luvox, buspar, risperdal, and cogenten) about 2. i've got a headache. i'm congested. i want to hurt myself. i wish i could die/ceice to exist. i can't write anything worth not deleting. i can't get myself to do much of anything. i'm such a loser. i'll never be worth anything.

if only i could find something explaining "how to kill yourself" which would make it fool proof, so i couldnt fail again and would make it so that i wouldnt hurt my friends /family. i dont think it exists

i dont know what to do. i dont want to sleep cuz i dont want to dream. i dont want to play games or read cuz i hvave a headache. i dont want to clean because i don't feel good. i want to cut but i promised i'd try not to

tommorow i'll prolly just lay here in bed all day. life sucks. actually i suck.



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