Wednesday, August 31, 2005


It’s 10:20pm.  I’m sitting at my desk because Harmony and Dawggy are watching me on cam.  She’s up eating ice cream then she’ll go back to bed.  Dawggy will probably go to bed soon too.  He just told me he’s bored and tired.  I want to journal some tonight and work on my West Virginia node a little bit.  I already used all my votes.  

Earlier my chest was hurting.  It hurt to breathe.  Now it just hurts a little bit, mainly when I take a deep breathe.  I’ve been short of breathe a lot lately.  

Last night I didn’t go to bed at all and took a three hour nap after I got home from the clinic.  Yesterday I didn’t go to bed until 11:30am.  When I close my eyes I see myself dead.  When my eyes are open I see that man that no one else sees.  I’m sure the bugs are after me.  I feel them crawling across my skin.  I haven’t cut since day before yesterday I think.  

I feel kinda depressed and my leg is aching to be cut.  I don’t want to go to sleep even though I’ve had less than 6 hours of sleep in the last two days.  I don’t want to close my eyes.  I keep seeing stuff in the mirror but when I look for them there’s nothing there.  I think someone is spying on me.  



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