Sunday, September 4, 2005

Frustrated with ISP

Image hosted by><br/><span style=
Damn static on the phone line is making it impossible for me to use the internet.  I’m feeling really frustrated and urgy.  I know it’s a stupid reason to want to cut, but I want to cut.  It’ll relax me.  I’m trying not to do it because I’m not supposed to cut myself.  No one wants me to SI.  This lack of internet is really pissing me off.  There are things I want to do, like vote on e2 and look at a new SI website I just found and chat.  I don’t want to go to sleep.  I don’t want to dream.  

I drove to karaoke and it was night time and it was hard for me.  I kept seeing stuff.  Cars that weren’t really there.  I know they weren’t really there because nothing happened when they ran into me.  I stopped and got $5 worth of gas.  My car had less than a fourth of a tank.  I’m going to ask Grace on Wednesday if she can help me get gas again.  She gave me a gas card before to use.  Gas is so expensive.

I promised myself I wouldn’t weep, one more promise I couldn’t keep.

Can you help me remember how to smile, make it somehow all seem worthwhile.

I can go where no one else can go, I know what no one else knows.

Seems like I should be getting somewhere, somehow I’m neither here nor there.

Like a madman laughing at the rain, a little out of touch, a little insane, it’s just easier than dealing with the pain.



Blog Archive