Monday, May 1, 2006

As soon as I got home (poss triggers)

I went to the clinic today. I saw my therapist and went to clubhouse. As soon as I got home I went in my room, closed the door, and cut my leg. It didn't bleed enough. I want to cut more. Deeper. Longer. Wider. I want to punish myself for cheating on my diet again. I ate a honeybun and a bowl of oatmeal. The oatmeal was 200 calories so that was okay as my breakfast but I shouldn't have had the honeybun. I want to cut my breasts to punish myself. It usually hurts when I cut my breasts. Other places don't always hurt.

I just cut my breast. I'm so stupid. What's wrong with me? Why am I suddenly so screwed up when I was doing so "good" before?!



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