What do I do now?

I don't really know what to say. I'm lonely. I'm bored. I'm urgy. I could call Grace but I think I'm driving her nuts. I called a lot this weekend. It's been a really long, hard weekend. I've been trying really hard not to cut. It's really hard. I feel the need to cut myself. The urges won't go away. I wish they would. I don't even know why I need to cut, only that I need to.


I hate myself and I want to die. I wish suicide was possible. It's not though. I hope someone smashes into me while I'm driving or a big earthquake hits and something big enough to kill me falls on me.