guilty

Grandma made me feel really guilty and urgy. I went out with my friends even though grandma told me to stay home. My mom said I could go. Grandma wanted me to go to Kylee's performance again. I went last night. It's not my fault her friends couldn't go. It is my fault that I wasn't there for my little sister. I chose Chuck E Cheese with my friends over seeing Kylee's recital a second time. I've already cut some tonight but I want to do much worse. The whole time I was out I felt guilty for being there. Danielle wouldn't let me go to the bathroom because she read my journal and knew if I went in the bathroom I'd cut myself.