been up since before 7

Its like 9:30am now. I've been awake a couple hours and haven't been able to get back to sleep. I called Grace around 7:30. She told me to try to go back to sleep and I could call her in two hours. I feel bad about calling her so much. I'm going to ask her if we can go someplace today so I have an excuse not to go to the BBQ at John's house. I don't know why I don't want to go but I just don't feel like going today.

I'm cold. I have my blanket on my lap and my bedspread around my shoulders. I cut earlier hoping it would help me get back to sleep but it wasn't enough. I really want to cut some more but I'm trying really hard not to.