went for a hike and to the movies

I haven't cut since this morning. I didn't sleep much last night/this morning. I took a nap though. I went hiking with John and Danielle. It wasn't a long hike, only about an hour or so. Then we went to Jack N The Box. I had a chicken strips kids meal that came with french fries and applesauce. I don't know how many points it was. Now I'm eating a blueberry Special K bar. it's 2 points. Grandma was in a good mood when I left this afternoon but she wasn't and isn't in a good mood when I came home. After Jack in the box we went to Danielle's house so she could change and find her free pass to AMC theatre. Then we ran to John's house and my house so we could change pants cuz all three of us got our shoes soaked and our pants legs muddy from hiking. Then we saw United 93. I didn't care much for it and neither did they. I'm glad we didn't pay for the movie. We each had a free ticket.

I want to cut myself. I want to punish myself for going out with my friends. I want to cut because I feel lonely. I want to cut because I want to bleed. I just want to si. I don't even have to have a reason anymore.