Wednesday, November 9, 2011

NaNoWriMo time of year

So it is NaNoWriMo month. I have not blogged in forever even though I have meant to many times. It is now day nine of National Novel Writing Month and I have 27480 words as of last night. I have not done a word count run on the little bit I have accomplished today.
I am not feeling well. My whole body hurts and I just feel icky. There is a bump on my neck which has been there for months but in the last week or two has gotten a lot bigger and much more painful. Just the collar of my shirt brushing against this spot on my neck makes tears come to my eyes or when I bump it as I sweep my hair back with my hand. My pain level overall is high but the added ICKY feeling that can not really be described well is the worst part. I am just plain miserable but am working super hard to hide it. Trying really really hard to enjoy NaNoWriMo and other things and not burden others with my issues. It is exhausting.
My Nanowrimo novel this year is about a Vampire who lives in and around Disneyland and will be as accurate as possible when it comes to the facts about Disney. He has a human friend who does not know his true nature who he is sharing his knowledge about Disneyland with and helping her survive some difficult life circumstances in the process. Word count on this is fairly easy but getting the story to actually MOVE is the hard part. The plot stalls easy with so little action happening. I’m working on the lack of action issues now.
In other news I FINALLY GOT A NEW DARREN HAYES CD! I hope to have a review of the album written for the blog some time soon. Most of my writing patience is going into getting nano done so it might not happen soon. We will see. But now I should be off doing other things besides this blog!

Monday, August 1, 2011

August first, less than a week until the twins are 8

So it is a new month.  My computer has been with Best Buy's geek squad for nearly two weeks.  I'm using Marcie's old laptop which is slow but it works for the most part.  There are several things I cannot do with it like farmville or for the most part youtube etc but I have managed to be able to check email and pay bills and such so thats good and I'm very thankful to Marcie for loaning this to me as well as for backing up all the data from mine so it can be restored when I get it back.

My pain level has been extremely high lately.  And the depression has gotten worse and the inside people louder.  SSI has been reduced so there's another stress when I already couldn't afford things like groceries.

I finally received the registration sticker for my car today.  I will have to get it on there tomorrow.  I paid the rent and sent out the check for the car loan today.

I have a new tv.  It is a 32 inch Sony Bravia from grandma.  A brand new, not a hand me down, tv of my very own.  She got Kylee one too since Kylee recently moved out of the family home to live with her friend.  I currently have half a dozen tvs in my livingroom and at least one in the bedroom.  The only one hooked up is the new one.  I need to get someone to help me hook up one of the old sorta-working tvs in the bedroom since I pay for direct tv but have no way to use it in the bedroom since there is not a working television in that room.

I took the literacy training program at Monrovia library and started the application process but have yet to hear back.  I've been helping on tuesdays with the field trips to the movies and the park for the Peanuts Playhouse.  There's usually about a dozen kids ranging in age from 2 to 12 on those trips.  We see the dollar kids movie and then walk across the street to the park where the kids eat their packed lunches and play.  Dinorah's friend owns the day care.  Dinorah usually runs over to wendy's or something and gets us lunch.

I tried to do Camp Nano in July but the computer problems led to that being a failure.  I'm attempting again this month.  I've gotten about 2k words written today into googledocs.  it's slow going and frustrating since the computer is so slow i have to wait for it to catch up to whatever i type and often what i type never actually shows up and i have to back track.

Friday, February 11, 2011

February 10

I spent the day mostly resting.  I talked to grandma a bit on the phone but she was not in the mood to chat.  I am planning on going to Disneyland first thing on Friday morning so thursday night means preparing.  Showering needs doing.  Backpack needs putting together.  Weather needs to be checked so clothes can be picked out.  I talked to John early in the afternoon.  He called and talked to me about American Idol while he was heading to work.  There's a guy on there this season who we know.  Clint Gamboa.  He's the guy that won the karaoke contest we judged.  He was the first one they showed audition in San Fransisco:

I'm going to text my new Disneyland friend Dominick in the morning and we'll meet up at the park.  We met at the Micechat weekend.  I was originally gonna also meet up with another micechatter there but the whole drama llama thing is a bit more than i wanna deal with i think so don't know whats happening there.  Now time to get moving!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

February 9

I did not get to sleep until something like ten am and then didn't get up until sometime around four or four thirty in the afternoon.  I poked around online for a bit and then made a Red Baron fire baked pizza slide.  After eating I suddenly felt really really terrible.  Nauseous.  Light headed.  Headache.  Stomach ache.  Just icky.  When I tried to stand up to go to the kitchen I got dizzy.  So I ended up after a while of laying on the couch looking at computer rolling over and taking a nap.  The computer was hot and misbehaving anyways so it needed a nap too.
I finally got up to stay after 10:30 or so I think.  And of course got on the computer.  So nothing at all happened really.  Need to get stuff done.  I'll go try!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

February 7 and 8

Monday was a blah day but a decent night.  It was the second time I went to the women's study group.  The lesson was "Winning over Worry"

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
-Matthew 6:34

This is something I really need to work on.  I worry a lot.  A whole lot about about everything.   I'm a worrier.  Always have been.  I'm working on it!

Tuesday was a not much going on day.  I sat up an email account for my mom for mando.  meh.  whatever.
I chatted online.  I'm doing laundry.  Planning a trip to Disney on friday with Lance and Dominick.  I should get some more chores done.  My apartment is such a mess.  Just don't have motivation/energy.  Need a push.

February 5, and 6

Saturday February the fifth was a lonely saturday.  Spent time chatting on micechat and then on facebook when the site went down for maintenance from 10pm until about 3:30am and tried to work on a list.  Was not a good night though.  I have not been feeling well both physically and mentally.  I am a mess.  I am not sure what sent me over the edge but I cut on saturday evening for the first time in a long time.  As I said, it was a bad night.  Was in a mixed hyper/depressed state.  The most dangerous mood there is.  It's when I get into trouble.

Sunday the sixth was Super Bowl Sunday.  I did not watch it.  I'll probably look online for the commercials at some point but I don't care that much really.  It was another not great night.  Did not feel well at all.  Hurting bad, stomach ache, migraine, blah blah blah.  And mentally spiralling.  Struggling bad and it's hard to hide.  I feel so hopeless so often.  I really try to find things to look forward to, like planning trips to Disneyland but it's hard.  I'm sick and tired of feeling like shit.  I'm tired of things not working like they should.  I'm tired.  

Monday, February 7, 2011

February 3, 4,

On Thursday the third I took my car over to a the electrical mechanic to fix my car.  It only took him a few hours and I put the $170.91 charge unto my credit card.  Dinorah ran me over to pick my car back up when he was done.  The mechanic had given me a ride back to my house.
I ended up sleeping from late afternoon until after eight or so at night.  I did not accomplish anything around the house really as usual.
Spent a lot of time on micechat.

The next day was friday.  A weekend night but in my life what does the day matter?  every day is basically the same.  i was home i was alone.  i was online.  i accomplished nothing.  i am useless and hopeless.  I dont know why i bother.  why face any days.  whats the point.  i wish i knew.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

February 1 and 2

So the month has begun.  Tuesday the first I was still too tired and sore to bother doing anything.  Just laid around wasting time.  Put off chores and paying bills or doing anything.  Just spent all day in bed with a bit of poking around online.

On Wednesday the second I was up fairly early.  Dinorah and I went for a short walk with sparky to my mail box.  Talked a bit.  She knew I was awake because she saw me post a farmville thing on facebook.
Later in the day I finally got myself over to pay rent.  Talked to my landlord Lucy for a little while.  She's fun to talk to.  I gave her my rent check and she gave me to alvocados off of her tree.
When I went to leave I could not get my car to start.  It wouldn't do anything so I went back up to the door and asked Lee to look at it.  The battery was the problem.  By this time the mechanics had gone home since it was a quarter to five pm but he managed to get my car working by using jumper cables to reconnect my battery.  The battery was all corroded really bad and the thing that is supposed to hold the battery to the rest of the car was broken.
I prepared myself to have to face a mechanic first thing thursday morning.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Janaury 31

Recovery time.  Did not do much on monday because I was still exhausted from the crazy weekend.  The month has ended and time to wake up to a new month and get into a routine.
Already looking for the next opporunity to get back to Disneyland.
Need to get in touch with the Volunteer director at Foothill Unity.
Bills to pay.  Things to figure out.  Brain needs to get in gear.  body needs to get in gear.
Just have to see what happens at this point I think.

January 29, 30 --- Micechat weekend

What an exhausting weekend!  But it was worth it!
Saturday morning Dillon followed me in his car down to the Disneyland Resort.  We got there early and ESPN Zone was not opened up for us just yet so we looked around Rain Forrest Cafe that is next to it and decided to use the restroom in Downtown Disney before we went into ESPN Zone.  As we were walking up to the restrooms who did we see?  We saw the current Disneyland President coming out from the door next to the bathrooms that leads to the "backstage" area.  I'd never seen him in person before but had seen many pictures of him and he was wearing his Disney name badge that says simply "George"  We tried to see where he was walking off to as we were excitidely discussing "THAT has to be him!"  but did not want to be stalkerish so did not follow and went ahead and used the restrooms.
Dillon found daddy?

By then it was late enough that they were letting us into the ESPN Zone lobby to check in for our pre-paid breakfast.
We mingled a bit with our fellow Micechatters and then found a table.   I went out to the lobby once they had the table set up to buy a copy of Jack Lindquist's book.  That's what this breakfast was about afterall!  Once most people had gotten their food and had a bit of time to eat our leader, Dustysage got up and did some talking and introduced a very special guest....the current Disneyland Resort President George Kalogridis!  So we found out where he was headed!

George K introducing Jack L

George K got up and talked a bit and introduced the very FIRST president of Disneyland, Jack Lindquist.  Then Jack got up and talked a bit.  It was amazing to be in that room.  The room was full of over a hundred die-hard Disneyland fans with two of the people who have played a huge role in making Disneyland what it is.  The co-author of Jack's book also talked a bit.  There was a slide show on behind them that Al Lutz had put together.
Current Disneyland President




Jack Lindquist
Dustysage thanking  George K and Jack L.

After the talking there was the book signing.  Long line of people. Jack Lindquist is a bit hard of hearing I discovered but soo sweet and spent a lot of time signing everyone who wanted a signature and speaking and taking photos.  And George K even stayed for a very long time allowing people to line up for pictures with him and signing stuff.  He easily could have bowed out.  He'd agreed to introduce Jack L. for a Disney fan community.  That alone was a big deal.  I'm very please to say that the current Disneyland president really seems to care about the fans and wants more than to just bring in as much $$$$ as possible, he also wants to make the guests truly happy.
Authors of "In Service to the Mouse"

Dillon Jennelle Jack Lindquist Melinda Combs

Dillon Jennelle George Kalogridis

After the breakfast was over and it was time to leave we had a chance to talk to Mrs. Lindquist for a few minutes while her husband was busy talking to other people.  We also got to meet his daughter.  The entire family seemed super nice.

The rest of the weekend took place inside the parks which requires admission tickets.  I have an annual pass but unfortunately Dillon does not so he left after the breakfast.  Saturdays events were all scheduled inside DCA.

We were to meet by the exit of Muppet Vision 3D at 11:30am for Mice and Go Seek.  Five of the moderators were introduced and then sent out to Hide.  We then had just under an hour to try to find as many as possible.  Each of those hiding had raffle tickets to hand out numbered 1-10.  The goal was to get as many tickets with the lowest numbers as possible.  I ended up running around with a guy named Tom who usually partners up with his teenage daughter but was there alone because she had something to do for school that day.  We walked quickly through several areas of the park but never did come across any of them.  Found out later that one was hiding in the locker room, another was hiding inside a tree in Redwood Challenge...don't know how we missed him since we were all over that area.  Another was over by Tower of Terror.  Another was in Pacific Wharf somewhere.  Not sure where the other was or the exact location of a few of them.  The first place winner had found 3 of the 5.  More than half of us did not find any.

After the awards were given out for that people all slowly moved from the Muppet area over to Pacific Wharf area for the lunch meet.  Most of us did not eat much or at all because the breakfast was so filling.
The second game of the day was Eye Spy.  For that we met over at Sonoma Terrace Golden Vine Winery just outside the Blue Sky Cellar.  Tom and I partnered up again but did not do very well.  We just guessed at the last minute.  I wish I could get my hands on an answer key because I still do not know what most of the answers are.

Tom left immediatly after that because he had to go pick up his son.  He did not even get to stay to find out the winners.
Whiel the game was scored we all filtered into the Blue Sky Cellar.  By now it was 4pm.  I have never seen that room so packed.  After a while they started letting people know it was time and we filtered back out to get the results of the game.
There was no official dinner meet but a group that calls themselves RCMC (Royal Court of MiceChat I believe) was having a meet up in Down Town Disney and one of the girls who was organizing that invited me to join them so I did.  The restaurant was Jazz Kitchen Express.  I got a popcorn chicken kids meal and ended up giving most of it away because I did not like it.  The chicken had a weird flavoring.  I think it was some type of cajon type thing.  But the conversations were good even if the food was not.
I was freezing tho because I loaned my jacket to a girl I was hanging out with "m.s. fighter" because she only had a tshirt on and I had a sweatshirt on.  I didn't complain though.  She gave me my jacket back before she headed home.

After dinner I went in the bathroom at the Grand Californian hotel before heading to the meet up in the hearthstone lounge there and put my thermal shirt on.  At the lounge many people were drinking and we played a trivia game.  I made it almost to the end of round one.  I was the third or fourth to the last person on our team.  They split us into three teams and then the last 2 standing from each team made it to the second round. And then the top two of those made it to the final round.  It was pretty fun.
I didn't win anything in any of the games but they were still fun.

After that we headed back into the parks for ElecTRONica.  Though people didn't stick together very well in this part as we did during most of the day there were quite a few of us scattered around the Hollywood Backlot area.
The park was closing at 10pm.  I could have headed over to Disneyland for a short while but since I knew I had another full day ahead of me I went ahead and left by 10pm and headed home.  The tram was a total pain.  I usually park in the Toy Story Lot since I discovered it but since I was starting the day at ESPN zone and leading Dillon to the DTD parking I went ahead and parked in the structure.  The trams were always a pain but since they added doors to the tram it's gotten even worse.

When I got home I talked to Dillon online a bit and to Margo a bit who i'd met at the the meet.  Then i got a bit of sleep.

On Sunday I was in the Toy Story lot bright and early.  I was into the park before the rope drop.  I took advantage of the empty shops on main street...everyone was outside on the street instead of the shops.  I looked around and waiting for the rope drop so I could head to Frontierland to meet up with the Micechatters for breakfast at the RiverBelle Terrace.  I got myself a Mickey pancake and sat with another "newbie" named Ann who goes by ChEars! on the site.  Was a nice breakfast and then we all headed toward the train station in New Orleans square for the grand circle tour around the park.  It started raining as we were on the train.  From there we all headed over to the Mark Twain Riverboat for a trip around the Rivers of America.  It was raining pretty good during most of this.  We still had plenty of time before the big noon hub meet so we all went on Thunder Mountain.  I've never seen so many people try the goat trick at the same time.  It wasn't discussed ahead of time but we all just did it.
By now it was time to head over to the hub.  Margo and I had talked online and then on the phone as we were getting ready before leaving that morning and she had said she would be there in time for the breakfast. But now it was noon and she had yet to show up.  I had tried calling her but just got her voicemail.  I finally heard from her on the Twain and she had locked herself out of her apartment and had to wait for a locksmith.  She called again during the noon meet and asked if I could run over to the monorail and get her.  she's in a wheelchair and was on the monorail already.  So I went over there and found her and pushed her back to the hub.  We arrived back at the hub just as everyone was moving to the castle for the group photo.  It was pouring as we stood there for the photo and the raffle.  When that was done people scattered to get food and meet back at the outdoor tables nearby.  The tables had umbrellas but where i was sitting the table was covered by not my back.
Margo and I went over to first aid so she could use the restroom then got pasta at plaza inn and joined the others at the tables. We sat with Ann.  Because of the rain most of us took refuge as soon as we were done in the Golden Horseshoe where we would be seeing Billy Hill later in the day.  We took up the first two rows of tables, most of the third and a few other scattered tables in there.  The show was good of course, always is.  And I videotaped most of it.  I haven't uploaded the vids (its in two parts) anywhere yet.
From here we all headed back over to New Orleans where we met up with D23's Disney Geek, Jeffrey Epstein.  He gave out some copies of the latest issue of the D23 magazine and did a little trivia game giving winners pins and patches and stuff.
The last scheduled event was going on Pirates and Haunted mansion as a group.  It was Character fan days tho and since with Margo in a wheel chair she woudln't be able to ride it with everyone very easily since she enters from a different way she wasnt going to go on those and asked if i wanted to join her in checking out the character fan day family fun weekend stuff instead.  Unfortunately they closed up the area early due to rain so we didn't get to see the rare characters.
I spent the rest of the day with her.  we rode the carousel and I'm not sure what else we did before we headed over to the other park.  We got fast passes for World of Color, we went on Toy Story Midway Mania, we got back up that damn hill which pushing her almost killed me.  I hate the pier hill.  Then we saw alladin.  sat in the front row.  They were having a meet and greet before hand so we saw some friends coming out from that and spoke to them briefly before we went in.
We then got to SIT for world of color.  Because she's in a chair we were in the disabled area.  There's a bench in there and I was able to snag a spot on it which is great since I was hurting bad by that point.
We watched a bit of the fireworks from the entry way of DCA and i took a potty break and ran into a couple other micechatters and exchanged some contact info with them before heading back over to where margo was parked and then into the other park.  Once inside Disneyland we saw that Ragtime Robert was playing in Coke corner so stopped in fora listen.  Mr. Daps was in there watching so we talked to him a bit.  When Robert had finished his set I was able to finally tell him how adorable his grandchildren are.  I'd seen their pictures on his facebook.  We then headed back to tomorrowland and watched Captain EO before catching the monorail out of the park.  She was parked in the Disneyland Hotel lot and so I went to her car with her and helped her get in her car and then she drove me over to the Toy Story lot.  We stopped on the way to the car to talk to a couple of the security guards who were just standing around.  They were nice.  Pretty much everyone who works for disneyland is pretty cool.

I was so sore and tired when I got home.  but it was worth it.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

January 28

Friday January 28 was a day of preparation.
I went to walmart mostly for lightbulbs because I was down to only one light in the livingroom and no replacements and the bulbs do not last long.  I got $20 out of the atm and spent $40 on lightbulbs, drink mix, and little debbies.  They did not have the cheap lightbulbs I usually buy so ended up getting the newer kind, the spirally ones.
I tried to get a little bit of sleep since I knew the next two days were going to be very busy and exhausting.  I also had a alot to get done tho.  There was laundry that needed doing and the dishes needed to be washed since I knew I would be too tired after either day of the trip and likely the day after that too so could not leave them in the sink for so long.  I needed to shower of course and I needed to get my backpack together and have everything as easy as possible to be able to do a full Disney day twice in a row.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

January 27

Today is my sister's birthday.  Kylee is 22 years old now.  I talked to her via text messages early in the day to wish her a happy birthday.  She had plans to go out with a group of friends after class and another group later in the evening.
Other than that is has been a pretty usual day.  Nothing happening.  Very little accomplished.
As I write this there are only one day, eleven hours and 45 minutes until I will be having breakfast with the Disney Legend, Jack Lindquist at the ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney as the start of a very busy weekend at the Disneyland resort celebrating the Micechat 6th anniversary.  I need to spend tonight and all tomorrow getting laundry done and everything and myself ready and getting something figured out to get Dillon to the breakfast and then able to get back home.  Since mom's engine is shot she's taken over the car that is normally just used by Dillon.
It has been a really exhausting busy week and so I need to rest as much as I can on top of getting myself and my home and my belongings ready to drive back and forth to Anaheim two days in a row, spending the entire days from park opening to closing running around playing games with a few hundred other disney fanatics.

January 25, 26

On Tuesday January 25 I was up all day.  I had a "some time between 8am and 6pm" appointment for the useless tv in the shed to be picked up.  It was just before eleven am when the guy came.  I gave him a bottle of water and a rice crispy treat while he was here.
My mom had called and said she was cleaning out the shed and had a bunch of stuff of mine she wanted me to take home.  So once the tv was picked up I made my grocery list and the list of things I wanted to print.  Dinorah texted me as I was getting ready and asked if I could watch Sparky for a few minutes right then.  I said okay but let her know I was planning to leave within an hour or so to go do errands.  She just needed the little dog out of the way long enough to talk to her landlord about some problems they were having with part of the tile floor and a wall or something.  I let Sparky run around in my little yard.  When she was done I talked to her for a few minutes and then headed out.  I went to the library and printed the schedule for this coming weekend's Micechat 6th Anniversary mega-meet and whatever else.
Then I headed over to my family's house.  The twins were still at school when I got there.  Mom's car was at the mechanic. Dillon helped me fill my trunk and half of my back seat with the boxes of stuff that belonged to me from the shed.  Dillon was sent to pick up the kids from school and I took mom down to the mechanic to pick up her car so she could take it somewhere else later in the week for a second opinion. She's taken her car in several times for smoking engine and they kept telling her they could not find anything wrong.  Now her engine is shot and they want to charge her over four thousand dollars to fix it.
 I went back to their house and spent a while longer before going to the store.  Mom needed several things so she decided to send Dillon.  We went in separate cars but shopped mostly together.  I spent $90 on groceries and Dillon got the milk and soda and odds and ends that mom had on the list.  From there he went on to pick up Little Ceaser's and I went on home.

When I got home I called the automated appointment thing for the lab and made an appointment for 1:50pm the next day at the one that is very close to my family's house.  I sat alarms to make sure I got up.  I managed to get up on the twenty sixth in time and got to the appointment on time, though just barely but that was due to road work slowing me down.  The appointment did not take very long at all.  The girl was able to get blood on the first stick with no problems.  I went to my family's house from there and got there before the twins were even home from school.  Mom was gone when I got there to pick them up.   They get out of school at 2:04pm each day.
I spent the rest of the day over there.  I helped the kids with their homework and mom fed us all KFC.  I do not care much for their chicken but was hungry so did eat one piece and tried the chocolate cake.  It was after nine pm when I finally got home.  Mom was trying to get the kids to bed when I left.  I could not help but laugh when mom was reading them a bedtime story and heard her snap "Hannah if you lick my face one more time!!....."  Both of the twins were wound up and aggravating and as she was trying to read them the book Hannah was laying in moms bed with her and kept leaning in and licking mom's face just to aggravate her.
Not long after I got home Dinorah and her husband knocked on my door.  I had asked them a few days ago if they could help me change my porch light bulb again some time before the weekend since I will be coming home late both nights.  She had remembered so came to do it.  unfortunatly the old bulb slipped from his hand while he was switching them and shattered all over the door step.  Dinorah asked me for a broom and swept it up for me quicker than I could go grab some shoes and pull them on.  It's great to have such wonderful neighbors.

January 24

On Monday January 24th I had a doctors appointment.  This was the first time I'd been to a doctor in a long time.  I got a referral from Foothill Unity Center to a clinic that just recently opened up.  The clinic was just a few minutes from my home and I didn't have much trouble finding the place at all.  The appointment was at 1pm.  I got there a few minutes early and filled out the packet of papers they gave me.  When I was called in the nurse was nice and did the normal questions, took my blood pressure, attempted to take my temperature (it would not register for some reason) and weighed me.  I think I was 158 lbs if I remember correctly.  It was something around that.
A few minutes later I saw the doctor.  I do not remember her name but she was nice.  A black lady who wore glasses and was friendly and willing to listen to my concerns and take an interest.  She asked questions, asked me to elaborate on some of my answers, examined me, and then sat down across from me and talked to me about what she wanted to do with me.  She thinks that I may have fibromyalgia and told me that what she wants to do is have me get some lab work done and then come back in two weeks and she is probably going to give me a analgesic medication and a topical cream to work together after she's checked the results of the blood work.
I was given the lab work order, a list of where I could go get the tests done, and an appointment slip to come back on February 14.

By the time I got home from the doctor I was very sore because the doctor has poked and prodded at me to find out where my pain was and made the pain flare up in several areas such as my neck, shoulders, wrists, etc.

I went home and called my grandma and mom to let them know what the doctor had said and laid down on the bed and poked around online for a while.  I put some tiger balm stuff I had a sample of on my neck and shoulders in hopes it would help.  The smell of it makes my eyes burn but I think the cream did help a little.  Not sure it's enough to be worth the burning and the smell though but it doesn't matter since I used all of the little tiny sample tube I had.

Monday was also the first time I was to attend the women's study group with my next door neighbor Dinorah at her church.  It started at 7pm.  We went together in her car and it was interesting.
She had given me the book we are using "Loving God with All Your Mind Interactive Workbook" by Elizabeth George a week and a half or so before hand and told me what part we were supposed to do so I had done the assignment.  I had not gone to the first meeting of the group because she had not told me about it until that evening it was on and I had not felt up to getting dressed and going out and trying to find her at that church I'd never been to on the evening she'd called.
At 7pm a large group of women gathered in the big room and had a small worship service, standing and praying and singing hymns together on the large screen with 3 women on stage (one on drum, one on piano and one singing) and then they had anyone who had not been there the previous meeting (two weeks before) stand up.  There were several of us.  They then had anyone who did not know which group they were in remain standing.  Dinorah had made sure I was in the same group as she was so I knew and got to sit down. They then went through each person who was still standing and found them on the lists and told them which group they would be with.  Then they told us where each group was meeting and told us what time we needed to return to the large room.  I believe it was at 8:25 we were supposed to return.
Our group was meeting in the room normally used for the babies and smallest of the children.  It was very cramped in there.  Chairs were lined up all along each of the four walls and we filled every chair.  We started with a quick little introduction game thing.  The leader of our group went around and paired us off and gave us a couple questions to ask our partner such as name, how long they had been attending that church, if they were married or single, and what the Lord had done for them lately.  Fortunately me and Dinorah, having made sure to sit together even tho our assigned seats were not together got to ask each other.  After a couple minutes they then went around the room and had each person introduce their "new friend" to the group and sharing what they learned from those questions they had just asked.  Dinorah has been going to that church for like 2 years or so and what she said God has done for her lately was they had just found out earlier that day that her oldest son who is in the marines got stationed where they wanted, NOT in Afghanistan.  I said that God had helped me find a doctor and that I had finally finished reading the 3 year reading plan I was following in my Student Bible (which I started eleven years ago).
Once that was done we then went through the assignment quickly since there was not much time.  there are 4 sections to each of the assignments.  We did not go over every questions but did do several.  A lot of the answers are pretty personal and no one was forced to share if they did not want to.  I did participate as much as I could.  And since I had written down all of the verses we were asked about in the questions and had it readily available and not have to search I was asked to read one of the longer ones that the leader wanted to really make sure we all heard.  The frustrating part was that just during that short reading some one came in and interrupted us twice while looking for her group.  Oh well.
We were like the last group to get back into the main room but it was not an issue as there was a couple minutes to get everyone settled back into seats and quiet down.  We then did a bit more praying and they made sure everyone understood that you are supposed to read all four parts of the session for each time we meet.  They did a couple more announcements, and made sure everyone had the calanders that were supposed to be inside the books, but not all of them had them, including ours which show which days we are meeting and what the assignments are for each of the meeting times.  We then watched the dvd that goes with the section of the book we'll be working on for the next time we meet.  The next section is on worry.
The dvd is the author talking to a group of women.  I find the woman kind of annoying to watch.  She has an annoying laugh and bobbles her head.  Some people are just more interesting in their written word than when they speak.
When the group was over there were some snacks but we headed out and went through the drive thru of Taco Bell/Pizza Hut on our way home where she picked up food for her and her husband Chuck and I splurged because my stomach was growling and bought myself a cheese pizza meal.

I was a long tiring day in a sure to be long and tiring week.

January 21, 22, 23

The weekend.......meh

On friday the twenty first I took a shower in the afternoon, which I usually don't do.  I usually shower late at night.  Other than that I didn't do much.  Had dino nuggets for dinner and did some reading.  Worked on the assignment for the Women's study group I agreed to join with my neighbor, Dinorah.  Just the normal lonely friday night.

On saturday the twenty-second I don't think I did anything.  I have no memory of the day at all really.  I hate when I lose time.

Sunday the twenty third was pretty much the same day as the friday.  Not much of anything really.  Except that on sunday I had to set alarms to get up on monday.  I sometimes wonder why I bother to face another day

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

January 19, and 20

On Wednesday January 19th the Housing Inspector came.  It was a fairly quick inspection.  The inspector was a woman who just seemed to want to get out of here as quickly as possible.  She was come and gone before 11:30am.  I did not do much the rest of the day.  Mom came by after work to move the tv broken outside so the place I found in the Pennysaver would take it.

On Thursday January 20th I spent a good deal of the day waiting for the people who were supposed to come pick up both the tv that was in my livingroom and my mom helped me move outside after she got off work the day before and the tv that is in the shed that does not have a cord.  They came and grabbed the tv that was sitting just outside my front door but were gone before I could say anything to them so they did not take the other tv.  The other tv is sitting just inside the shed and blocks everything else and we can not even manage to make it move an inch.  I called the place again and told the woman they had grabbed the one tv but didn't knock to get the other.  She looked me up and said that it says right in the notes the drivers had that there were two tvs to pick up and they were to knock on the door because one was locked inside a shed.  She put me on the schedule for the following tuesday.  Another day of waiting.  They can show up any time between eight am and six pm.
Also called Foothill Unity to ask for a referall to both an eye doctor and a primary care doctor.  They were not able to give me an eye doctor but I was given the name of a clinic and called them and got an appointment set up.  The eye doctor I went to in the past is still closed for Earthquake retrofitting that keeps getting extended.  I really need some new glasses since mine are broken and I'm getting really bad headaches without them.  I can not actually afford it however.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

January 18

This blog may be updated some more as the day goes on but since I'll be starting to link some of the giveaways I'm entering I'll post it fairly early.

One such giveaway is: Yoplait Fiber One Yogurt Review and Giveaway from trying new products.  From their site:

One of my readers will receive a Fiber One Blueberry yogurt gift pack that includes a VIP Coupon for a free sample of the new flavor, as well as a fitness journal and pen, sport towel, water bottle and blueberry stress ball. This prize pack giveaway is all provided by Yoplait and Fiber One through MyBlogSpark.

I should be busy cleaning since the Housing Inspector will be here in 24 hours but I can only do so much at a time so I clean a little, then enter a couple sweeps and clean a little and play on facebook, clean a little....etc etc.  

Another sweep also by trying new products is Yoplait Delights Review & Prize Pack Giveaway  From their site:
One of my readers will receive a Yoplait Delights Yogurt gift pack that includes a coupon for a free Yoplait Delights Yogurt multipack, a chocolate scented candle, a pink insulated lunch tote and an aromatherapy eye pillow. This prize pack giveaway is all provided by Yoplait through MyBlogSpark.

Well that's enough for now.  I'll get this posted and maybe I'll post another blog later or update this post.  Who knows.  Just see how the day goes and how many naps I end up taking and how much I get accomplished.  Need to go get the kitchen and bathroom especially clean since they always check several things in those rooms (sinks, stove, fridge, tub, toilet).  I might just wash up tonight instead of taking a full shower.  My hair isn't really dirty, I just washed it yesterday and that will save me having to reclean the tub again.  I just scrubbed it good before my last shower and have cleaned out the hair after my shower.  It's more work than it sounds to clean the hair out since I lose so much and it goes everywhere.
Need to straighten up the livingroom and bedroom just to make it look less scattered and cluttered.  Should clean the floors but not sure my back is up to much of that.  Maybe I'll at least get the kitchen floor swiffered.


Monday, January 17, 2011

January 16 and 17

Sunday and Holiday Monday

Not much happening this Martin Luther King Jr Holiday.

On sunday I didn't do much of anything.  Lots of napping.  A little cleaning.  A lot of loneliness and a few tears.

Been working on getting the apartment clean since Housing Authority will be out here on Wednesday for my annual inspection.  It seems like they were just here during the summer time.  In fact I found the date of the last inspection.
"This notice is to advise you that a housing inspection will be conducted on 07/21/2010 between 7:30am and 4:30pm"

So apparently it's a semi-annual inspection?  Even though they keep saying it's only done once a year.  I just went down to the office in December for an annual review.  Lots of paperwork and a total pain.  But what can you do?  If you don't go through these hassles then you don't get the low income housing.  And if I don't have low income housing I have NO housing.  

Sunday, January 16, 2011

January 13, 14, 15

The 13th was a sleep and recover day and a bit of cleaning.

The 14th was a babysitting day.  The twins were over from about 5 until 10:30pm.  We had Hungry Howies pizza and watched Finding Nemo and Toy Story 3 and  played with their computers.  When they finally went home I conked out for a few hours.  I also bought tickets to the Micechat 6th Anniversary special breakfast at ESPN zone with Disneyland's first president Jack Lindquist.

January 15th was my brother Dillon's 20th birthday.  I texted him and told him on facebook happy birthday.  I think he went bowling.
Here he is on tv in the audience of Jimmy Kimmel watching Angels and Airwaves.

He can be seen several times but there is a close up of him at 1:51 and you can see in the beginning when Jimmy Kimmel is introducing the band that Dillon was wearing his LOVE t-shirt.

January 12

A Disneyland day!
Picked my sister Amber up from her house just about 5 and a half miles away from Disneyland and then we parked in the Toy Story parking lot.  We were in the Woody section.  We got there before the park opened, despite having to go back to the car after going to bag check.
We started at DCA, then spend most of the afternoon in Disneyland before ending our day back at DCA.  Did (in no particular order) Toy Story Midway Mania, California Screamin', Tortilla and Bakery tours, Tower of Terror, Muppets 3D, Turtle Talk with Crush, Monsters Inc, and Soarin' over California in DCA.  In Disneyland we did:  (in no particular order) Space Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Indiana Jones Adventure, Jungle Cruise, Buzz LIghtyear Astro Blasters, Captain EO, Matterhorn Bobsleds, Peter Pan's Flight, Pinocchio's Daring Journey, and Snow White's Scary Adventure.  We ate at Plaza Inn on Main Street.

The longest wait was only about 20 minutes and that was for Indiana Jones.  Most rides only took a couple of minutes to get on.  There was an Australian family we were talking to in Fantasyland that were quite amusing.  The mom and teenage daughter were teasing the father that they were going to take him to get a make over at Bibbity Bobbity Boutique as revenge for making them go into the scary maze at Universal Studios.  They were all really nice and very funny.  Teasing each other.  Having a great time.
Having done so many rides, and Amber having to work the next day we left early.  The park closed at 8pm but by 7pm we were out of there.  I dropped her back off at her house and then headed home myself.  I was exhausted.  I ended up sleeping most of the night which is rare for me.  I never sleep at night.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

January 10, and 11

Monday.  A new week.  Big woop.  Nothing much happening as usual.

Tuesday was a busy day really.  Went to the post office to mail Dawni her birthday card and small gift and dropped a book off at the library before meeting up with Emma at Walmart where I bought 2 drain covers, bandaids, headphones, drink mixes, little debbie smores, a couple life waters, and some breath mints.  I then filled my gas tank and after Danielle didn't want to get together I dropped Emma at the bus stop and headed home.  Took a nap and then had popcorn for dinner and got ready for Disneyland.

Monday, January 10, 2011

January 8 and 9th

Wore the super soft pajamas Danielle and John got me for Christmas.  The shirt is a pink hoodie.  the pants are pink with cupcakes all over them.
It's been blah.  I'm tired of sitting and watching the phone just in case some one will make contact with me.  Just in case there's a chance of not spending the night alone.  The only one that ever calls though never has anything new to say and just makes me feel frustrated and stuck.   I don't care that you saw someone we went to high school with a year or so ago.  High school was a decade ago and you've already told me the same thing a dozen times.  And no I don't want or need a boyfriend.  And no I don't want any recipes.
What I want is not to be last priority.  I want to be thought of first at least once in a while not as the pity case or the"there's absolutely nothing else to do so we'll call Jennelle".
I want to truly feel welcome not just as someone people put up with.

I'm tired of putting off doing anything and planning my evening around the just maybe someone will remember that they said they'd call me.  Just maybe they'll return my messages.  Just maybe...

I'm fed up.  I guess I'm meant to be completely alone forever.  I've always known this but always end up letting myself hope for something I don't deserve.  I have to not hope because hope always leads to disappointment.  I should know this by now.  I really should.  

Friday, January 7, 2011

January 7

Another lonely, not very productive day.  I got phone call tonight that was sort of amusing though.  My mom called me to say that they couldn't find Nemo.  Could I find nemo? And I did.  I found Nemo.  Hannah was having a tantrum wanting me to bring over the dvd RIGHT NOW so she could watch it.  Mom told her she had to wait that I would bring it over to them next time I come over that way.  Of course Hannah was not too happy with this answer but she's just going to have to deal with it.  Just keep swimming!

I had a lean cuisine pizza for dinner.  Need to get more cleaning accomplished and take a shower.   Boring lonely friday night.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

January 6

Been another unproductive day.  It was almost dark when I finally got up.  I ate a budge gourmet tv dinner a few minutes ago.  Hope to get myself moving and get stuff accomplished now that I've eaten dinner.  I finished the book I was reading this morning before I went to sleep around 8:30 or 9am.  This is the second book I've completed in 2011.  Both were begun in 2010 but I'm going to just count the books I FINISH is 2011 no matter when I started them.  So the books I've finished in 2011 so far are:

I have one more book out from the library.  I am about halfway through the book "Mouse Tales: A Behind-the-Ears Look at Disneyland" by David Koenig.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

January 5

I have actually accomplished something today.  I got toys finally back into the corner and I got the hall floor swiffered.
I had the last Red Baron pizza slice for dinner.  I have a headache and it's getting worse as I try to get stuff done.  It's behind my eyes.  And mostly on the left side of my head.  I have cold sores on my mouth again and it's annoying.  I need to get the dishes washed tonight.   I just want to curl up and die though.  I hate feeling like this.  New year just means extra shit piled on top of the old shit.

January 4 (a bit late)

I managed to eventually drop a book off at the library and then go pick up Danielle and we went to Kohls.  I exchanged my pajama pants for a larger size and she returned a few things.  After that I came home.  I made shells and cheese for dinner and got not much of anything accomplished.  Feeling pretty hopeless and blah.

Monday, January 3, 2011

January 3

I meant to go to the library today but when the alarm went off early in the day it was raining and I was freezing and still had a headache.  The library parking lot always floods when it rains and I just simply did not want to deal with the water so I decided to pay the fee for returning the book one day late.  I will be going tomorrow and then plan to go to Kohls afterwards and if Danielle is not busy she will come with me.  The pajama bottoms they got me for Christmas are a size Large and I can wear them but they do crawl down my butt so I want to go see if I can exchange them for a size Extra Large.
I should go make some punch and wash the dishes or something.  I'm so lazy.  The migraine is not as bad tonight as it was late last night but it is still very bothersome.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

January 2

Nothing exciting going on now that Christmas and New Years is over.  Went and paid rent this afternoon then  had some Mickey Nuggets for dinner.  I have a pretty back headache today and my back and stomach are not very friendly either (it's just that time).
It's been raining all day.  Supposed to rain again tomorrow.  I am almost done with the book "The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest" which is the third and final book in the trilogy by Steig Larson.  It is due back at the library tomorrow so I need to go out and return it either tomorrow or at the latest day after tomorrow. I have a couple of other books out but I am not done with them yet.
I'm tired and the pain is really dragging me down so it's hard to be productive but I'm trying to work on a list.  I've got a load of laundry in the washing machine now and have some dishes I need to get done and much else.  Still have toys scattered all over from the twins spending new years eve here.  I feel like crap though so it's slow going to do anything.

Starting 2011

I have a long blog in the works about Christmas and the weeks leading up to and the week or so since but that isn't ready to post.
On New Years Eve the twins spent the night at my place.  It was an extremely long frustrating and exhausting night with them bickering and the constant "Don't tell mom! I'll be good! Don't tell mom!  I'm sorry"
I hope to start posting daily or nearly daily at least.  

It's actually January second now but let's do a video/song of the day:


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