Saturday, June 19, 2004

Grandma is getting to me BAD

I cannot ever please her. I don't mean to be a terrible person. I try to do what they want. I can't. I cannot please her. I don't have the energy. I don't have the strength. With every word that comes out of her mouth it makes it that much harder not to run a blade across my pale skin.

I need her to go away just for a while. Just leave me alone. Right now even the sound of her coughing is making me need to cut more and more. I am trying so hard not to give in to these urges. It's so hard. It's so loud. Inside people make this even harder. I can't deal well with anything. My head hurts. My whole body hurts. I just want to give up. I'm still trying tho. It's so hard but I'm trying for Sam, Harmony, Dawggy, and anyone else that truly cares.


Harmony said...

I'm very proud of you for not cutting bleu. You are a very strong lady and I know you would regret it in the end. Try not to let them get to you the way they do. Don't let them get you down. I wish I had the magic words to make it all go away. Love you.


Blog Archive