angry

i hate the fact that i feel angry at the people i love. why? cuz i want to die. i've been called a selfish bitch many times, especially by my mom but if i were really a selfish bitch i'd be dead. the only reason (besides the fact that i'd just fuckitup and make things worse) that i'm not dead is because i dont want to hurt the people i love like my family and harmony, dawggy, and marcie. i keep crying. both crystal and crimson tears. dawggy told me i need to quit fucking up but i'm trying and i'm failing. :'( i dont know how to keep myself from cutting and crying. i dont know how to keep myself from saying the wrong thing. i dont know how to be a good person. i dont know how to get all my school work done without flipping out. i'm scared. i can't handle flunking out again.