"I gotta go"

I hate it when she says that. It always makes me cry. i dont mean to trigger her i dont mean to hurt her. i try really hard not to say the wrong thing but i always say something wrong and get the "I gotta go". i cant stop crying again. i already cut and crying crystal. she told me she hopes i get in touch with reality. this IS my reality. the inside poeple are myreality. pain is my reality. lonliness is my reality. life sucks. i hate myself and i want to die. die bitch die make the pulse stop. so much snnot. i hate crying. ihate being such a terrible person. i hate hurting my friends. maybe losing me would actually be easier on my friends and family than dealing with me...