I want to die

No one can deal with me. Not even me. Dawggy told me to have a nice life. I keep crying. I didnt mean to make him mad.He said I'm not sorry that he hates that word. I don't know what else to say. Europa is talking to me. She's trying to figure out whats wrong with me. I'm trying so hard not to SI but I don't even know why I'm trying not to at this point. I wish I could just die. I'm not going to try to kill myself because it'd just make things worse cuz I'd surely fail and then everyone would be even more mad at me. I never meant to upset anyone. I don't know what is wrong with me all I know is its more than I can handle.