April 3, 2003

I promised myself I wouldn't write any more daylogs until I'd put up a couple of real factual and good nodes. Today, however, is my 22nd birthday.

How did I spend this day?

Well I stayed in my room with my nice warm blankets and my tv remote control until my mom, sister, and brother came over a little after 3pm. My sister and brother brought me a bottle of [adidas|perfume]. My mom gave me a card with a gift certificate for Best Buy. She brought me an [ice cream cake] from [Baskin Robins]. It was a [chocolate cake]/mint ice cream cake which was good but the decorations were [Barney], and Barney scares me, and she knows that. My mother thinks she is funny. While we were eating the cake my best friend called me to wish me a happy birthday. That was nice. Soon my mom took my sister and brother to their [catachism] class or whatever it is, and grandma, the dog, and I each went to our rooms. I tried calling my friend Ann. She answered but I could tell she didn't want to talk to me. I'd asked her if she'd gotten the card I'd sent her and what she wanted for her birthday (which was last week). I mentioned that we had cake and that tommorow I'm going out to dinner with my family at [Sizzler]. She didn't make any kind of notice of my birthday at all, which didn't surprise me, but did disappoint me.

I then called the Bargain Network thing I signed up for to call about cars. I called all the cars the lady gave me. Left some messages. Then I got ready for school, which is where I am now. I'm supposed to be doing something in [Excel] that will eventually go into [PowerPoint]. Eh. I just do enough class work anymore so it looks like I'm doing something. I'm on the last chapter of the book. The teacher said he's never had a student complete the entire book in just one [semester]. Well the semester doesn't end until the middle of June. Oh well...

Tommorow night my mom is taking me to dinner at Sizzler for my birthday and then to Best Buy. Saturday I'll just be sitting in my room like every other day, with no computer, no cable tv, just a few books and some paper. Sunday I might get to go out though. My best friend said she's got a present for me and that she's going to try to get out of [Pathfinders] so that we can go out somewhere. We don't know where we'll go. It depends on who is driving us. Neither of us drive right now so even at 22 and 21 we have to get out mom's to drive us around. It sucks.

What did I want for my birthday

Well, nothing I can really have. [Death] was on the top of my list. A [computer], and [internet]. A car. My own place to live. To get completly plastered was also high on the list. Well I got perfume and a trip to sizzler and whatever little toy my best friend bought me....most likely something with [Rugrats], or [Garfield]. My mom, grandma, my sister, brother, and best friend acknoledged my birthday. Other than that it is just as shitty as every other day.

At 2:30am last night I began my "celebrating" by cutting. I cut a lot and played with the blood, which I hadn't done in a long time. Then I took a shower. Then I shivered my way into my bed and watched tv until about seven am. Then I slept on and off until my family came over. Typical night really.

Okay so I'm rambling on. I don't have much time in class to research/type/post write-ups. I have some notes on paper but I need to search e2 to see what is already here and what should be. Until I manage to get my laptop fixed you prolly won't see much from me. I check in every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday evening. Most of class time is spent pretending to care about school work and then checking my email. Sorry for so much dayloging and so little good writing.

Thank you everyone who reads this and cares. I do appreciate it.