October 11, 2002

It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and attempted to make sense.
I’ve had several [ups and downs] since the last time I spent any significant amount of time online. Life has been a [roller coaster]. Now I’m living away from my family. I have an upstairs [apartment] (I can barely get up the stairs) with a long time male friend. I think we’ve worked out the issues of him wanting to be more than friends and me not being able to handle a sexual relationship. I was doing pretty good for a while but am quickly [I cut again|slipping] back into a [depression]. I’m now on [Zyprexa], [depakote], [Wellbutrin], [Lexapo], and [Buspar]. I am now on [Weight Watchers], which is being paid for by [Zyprexa].I’m currently attending [day treatment] five hours a day five days a week at my local mental health clinic. Lately I’ve been having a very hard time. [Confusion]. [Losing touch with reality]. [Cutting]. [Lack of motivation]. Et cetera. Et cetera.