The following section and the information it refers to located on my scratchpad will be removed soon, may find a new home for it if I do the location will be here for a short while.
Please accept my great thankfullness for everyone's help. Most notably of course is [siouxsie]. So many wonderful people...
I will write a daylog or [E2 Scratch Pad|something] later, i am still gathering details on the aftermath of her suicide attempt and my interference.
I do know this: She would not have told us what she had done if she had really not wanted help as she claims. She will be fine now. Was taken to hospital. I have not spoken to her personally since. She refuses to speak to me out of anger. That's fine. I'd rather her be okay and hate me than to have her trust me and be dead or worse. Others have spoken with her and say she will be okay. I'm sorry for any problems I caused here on e2. It was not a joke and it was not, as someone seemed to have thought, me asking for help for myself. I am not feeling well today...I am confused and need to gather my thoughts some more. I will be writing something later and depending on what i end up writing it will either be in this spot or posted as a write up. if i am not making sense i apologize. when/if i can make sense i'll explain better.
Thanks again all involved in any way. i looked at catbox archive and realized how much people cared. thanks
I have received tons of /msgs and IM’s asking “What happened?” and you all deserve an explanation. The names and identifying details have been changed, but the following is based on the actual chartroom conversation that took place in a bipolar support room. Please note the typos are left for a reason. The only nickname listed that was actually used in the room is my own. I am not including any of the private messages. I will explain what was said in them however.
Session Start: Mon Mar 29 03:26:02 2004 PST
Milly: wb [bluebird_is_sad|birdy]
Genny: hi bridy
jbirdy: hi
Milly: Genny please call EMS if you can't
drive or call a friend and get to the hospital
Genny: > i dont drive anyway
Milly: please i'm begging you. i
care about you and don't want to see anything bad
happen to you.
Genny: > i don'thave a [friend|firend]
Genny: > [mental illness|i don't believe in hospitals]
Milly: this time you need to believe in
hospitals
Genny: > i lost my glasses in the [drowning|surfd]
Genny: > surf
Milly: that's ok you can get new glasses
Genny: > i [almost|alosst] choke in enought water to
doe
Genny: > die
Genny: > but it[scared|scred] me and i turned around
Genny: > i'm a wuss
jbirdy: i'm glad you turned around
Genny: > i was lucky i made it home ok
Milly: but you didn't. you didn't want to
die. but if you don't get to the hospital you might
or you might wind up with permanent liver or [kidney
damage]
Genny: > i [want|wanmt] to die. [Overdose|let's het tjay]
straight this just wasn't the way to do it
Milly: what if you don't die from the
pills and just damage your liver or kidneys?
* Joins: mitch
Genny was taken to the hospital, treated, and released. I have since spoken with her. She will never speak to me again and plans to send me her $900 hospital bill if she can find my address. I am no longer going to be going into that channel on IRC, or any other chat room for that matter. I am not well myself and cannot deal with such things. I feel overwhelmed with my own struggle and feel both guilt and anger toward “Genny”. [I’m sorry].
I know she can't read this, she don't know about e2, but if she were to read it I hope she would realize that I only meant to help her, not cause her any problems.
{irrelevant conversation}
Milly: birdy call oscar and see if he has
genny's phone number and have him call her
Genny: why would i want to [damage|damamahe] my
liver [or|ofr] [kidneys}kidkneys>] so [WTF?|uvk faster waus of dfimt ot]
Milly: genny you're not making any sense
Genny: oscar [doesn’t|doewsn't] have my phone number
jbirdy: are u just saying that genny cuz you
don’t want me to call him or does he really not have
it?
Genny: he doesn't [have|habe] it
Milly: mitch we got a situation going on
with genny right now so hang on ok
mitch: oh okay, i understand
jbirdy: ok genny
jbirdy: Genny where are you?
Genny: at home
jbirdy: is there anyone that lives with you?
Genny: nope
jbirdy: do you have family nearby?
Genny: nope
jbirdy: can you walk next door and tell them
you are sick and need to go to the hospital?
Milly: gen has taken an od
Genny: i'm [all|allll] alone in [the big|th ebig] [Hell if I know|fity] with
nothing to [do|fo] bit [figure|figire] out [suicide methods|ways to die]
jbirdy: Genny, there is help. there are
reasons to live
Genny: no [hospitals|hopisatalis]
Genny: [klonopin] and atibam
Milly: klonopin and [ativan]
Genny: hasn't [even|vene] kicked in yet
jbirdy: when did you take it?
Milly: you're typing says differently
Genny: about an hour and a half ago
jbirdy: then it has kicked in, and if you
look back on the way you are typing you will see it
Genny: but i don't feel funny
jbirdy: i bet if you really thought about it
you'd realize your breathing is shallower than usual
Milly: genny you need to call [EMS] and at
least let them come and check you out
Genny: no
Milly: why not?
Genny: [because|bedcause] [I’ve|i'be] had too [many|meuy] [emergency medical services|ems] guys,
and cops and [?|bultureas] and [hospital|hspital] er rooms picking [over|ober] me [recently|refcetnly]
jbirdy: Genny you need help. you know
this, or you wouldn’t be in a support chat room
Milly: why was that?
Genny: [psychosis|osychosis] and [depression|deressions]
Milly: and your depressed again
Genny: yes
Milly: then you know you need to go
Genny: no i don't
jbirdy: Genny how much of the medications
did you take?
Genny: [I don’t know|idunmoo] 25 .5 mg ativans, and 15 1mg klonopin
Genny: [I think I’ll live|i tihink i'lll libe]
Genny: live
jbirdy: but if you don’t get treated you may
seriously injure your liver.
Genny: i [hope|hoipe] i kill [liver|it]
jbirdy: Genny you are not making much
sense
Genny: how am i supposed to [make sense|maek semse]
[bluebird_is_sad|nordy]?
Genny: bordy?
Genny: birdy:
jbirdy: Genny, please pick up the telephone
and call someone, anyone.
Milly: genny we know you came here for
help and support and the best help and support we can
give you is to tell you to get to a hospital ER to be
treated for your overdose and depression
Genny: no i don't want to
jbirdy: Genny, WHY do you want to die?
Genny: mainly [because|bedcuase] [I’ve|i'be] wanted to die
for14 [years|uears] [on and off|on a nd orfrf], and [nothing|nothgin] ever gets
better [Losing hope|than doesnt get worke again]
takes time, yes it seems like things dont, but they
do. death doesnt solve anything. it only causes alot
more problems.
Genny: [each|easc]h time it gets [worse|wirse], it gets [a lot worse|a
oit wors]
jbirdy: Genny, if you die i and many other
people would be very upset. things do get better, and
you know it.
mitch: what is it that is the worst right
now Genny
Milly: maybe oscar has tappers phone number
Genny: i have tappers phone number
Genny: what does that solver
you dont mind me asking
Milly: does tappers have your phone number
Genny: i live in [California|an=lifronia]
jbirdy: california?
mitch: i live in california too Genny
Genny: yea that one
jbirdy: me too Genny
jbirdy: where in california?
Genny: norhtern
by
Genny: [San Fransisco|san franfisco]
mitch: how far do you live from that
Genny: i [live|libe] in it
mitch: oh okay
* joins brownie
Milly: hi brownie
jbirdy: hi brownie
Genny: hi brony
Genny: [What is it?|whts is it>]
Genny: idon't want to [deal|feal] with a help
hotline [excuse|esxceuse] my rudeness
mitch: i understand, but they will tell
you what to do and can direct you on what you can do
Genny: they all =say the same things [have|jabe]
the same training
mitch: well listen to them, they might say
something useful, i use the one here in LA
mitch: they really want to help you
Genny, and so do we, thats why you should call that
number or check your self in the ER.
a hard time right now
Genny: yeah me too
jbirdy: Genny if your sorry that means you
know you need help
jbirdy: please call that phone number
Milly: genny what ever you do don't go to
sleep ok
Genny: [I almost killed myself tonight|i almost kid=lled muself toniite]
mitch: Genny, do it for us :) call the
number. you will feel alot better i promise, then come
back here and we will take it from there
Genny: doubt that's going to [happen|happrn]
Genny: milly
mitch: listen to that part of you Genny
that wants to get help.
jbirdy: Genny does anyone from this chat
room have your phone number?
Milly: you need to stay awake
Genny: just nutter and tappers and marge
jbirdy: ok does ANYONE here have a way of
getting ahold of any of them?
Milly: birdy see if oscar has any or their
numbers. he may have nutter’s
jbirdy: i can't use the phone...it's not mine
but i have a friend who can call him for me
Genny: i have meeem's too
Milly: ok
Genny: but they're all [asleep|asleeo]
Milly: genny we all want what is safe for
you right now and since going to the hospital is out
of the question per you then you need to stay awake.
make yourself some strong coffee
* Joins: tapper
Milly: tapper please call genny right
away. she took an od
night
Milly: she took klonopin and ativan and
won't go to the hospital
her address
Milly: yes please do that
Genny: (((((((((((((tapper)))))))))))))))))
Milly: ok
Genny: i don't want you to do any mor3e
that you are capable of
jbirdy: give the address in a pm
Milly: tapper pm
Genny: no no address
Genny: no hopital
there wiill be ambulances etc
Genny: no fuckintg emtos
Genny: emtos
Genny: fuck that
jbirdy: Genny please just accept the help
Genny: tapper, i will never speak to you
aahin if you gibe my address out
Milly: tapper please pm me
jbirdy: i think it's necessary for her own
safety
Milly: it's no longer about privacy
it's about a life and her safety.
jbirdy: Genny is very important to us. we
need her to be okay and the only way we can insure her
safety is by breaking her privacy.
Genny: that's bullshit milllly. i'm tying
you perfectly rationallly although my typos leavge
somthing to be siesired. EMTS wiol not help
Milly: you guys don't understand we are
running out of time here?
Milly: please pm me
this?
mitch: i agree with brownie
sence tome
jbirdy: tapper if you don't get an ambulance
to Genny she could die
never trust any of us again
mitch: brownie is right
Milly: tapper she took these meds 2 hrs
ago. she could face possible permanent liver or
kidney damage
Genny: tapper, if you call EMTs i will blam
nutters for giving you my ane
Genny: name
number i gave you, it will solve everything
* Quits: tapper
mitch: we want to help you, we dont want
to break your trust, we dont want anything to happen
to you, please call the number
Genny: whta is the hnhukber agian
mitch: (415) 781-0500
mitch: its the right thing to do
Genny: what is it mitch?
mitch: it is (415) 781-0500
Genny: i;m going to go
mitch: Genny are you going to call
jbirdy: are you going to call?
Genny: do what you all want
mitch: Genny, call that number
Genny: since none of you lnow my name
anyeway
jbirdy: Genny we can find out
Genny: take fare
jbirdy: we care about you Genny
Genny: ad if i see the EMTs I will never
truse anyone of you again
jbirdy: we don't want you to hurt we want you
to get help
jbirdy: Genny i dont care if you never
trust me, at least i'd know you were okay
mitch: stay with us Genny, :)
jbirdy: i'd rather lose your trust than lose
your life. you are an important person who has helped
me and many others here just by being you.
* jbirdy is now known as [Dissociative Identity Disorder|bluebirdy]
mitch: Genny please answer
Genny: i [think|thin] [you|yoyu] alll have to decide
which is moreimortant to upiu, my truest, or a
uqwestionae hopstial stary for whoifh i would holf all
of you resonisbile foir
Genny: i would hte t o habve to shun you
all
mitch: the only thing you should hold us
responsible for is trying to help you Genny
Genny: hlep schmelp
mitch: good poetry gersh
Genny: ty, i thought the cadence was
quite melodic myself
mitch: here is the number one last time. i
hope you call (415) 781-0500
Genny: mitch, if you don't tell me whjay
the freaking number is i will throttle uyou
mitch: i told you, Genny, it is a help
hotline for overdoses
Genny: it's been 3 hours and i don't feel
an overdose
mitch: but you still took one
mitch: call them, and just see what they
say
pills will wear off
now?
Milly: maybe she's on the phone
Genny: i'm not in the kind of trouble you
guys sseeen ti think
Milly: i'm just sorry tapper bailed
Milly: so am i
Milly: been up since 2:30
Genny: yesw i tookquite a bit if klon and
ativan, but the point waskk tat i wetn tito the ocean
Genny: and almosr drownderd'
Genny: it was touch and go
Genny: and [I finally tried to save myself|dinally i tried to sab=ve yself]
Genny: it wasn't east
Genny: easiy
difficult and brave
can cause serious damage to your body
from the ocean though
Genny: i dont' care aout the numjber iof
pills i took
think you need medical help
mitch: you must have come up with strong
reasons to save yourself
RedStem:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Genny}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Genny: thx or, you aare hte only onewho has
hugged me since this wole thing statrted
RedStem: genny is prolly more afraid of san
francisco general than hospitalization itself
RedStem: Genny: what up ... did you
take more pills than supposed too
* bluebirdy huggs Genny, now that she knows
that okay to do
both klon and ativan RedStem
Genny: i tried to drowmn myslef
RedStem: Genny: ah... well i am glad
to see you didnt
Genny: the poills were only inscinetdental
RedStem: Genny: i enjoy seeing you
here and seeing your posts...
Genny: ty red
RedStem: Genny: r u going to call
911 and go to the hospital
Genny: sameto upi
Genny: you
RedStem: Genny: btw... i am not
saying that justto say it... i do mean it
came to be in your system, they are the current
problem, the problem that can be helped.
later
Genny: jo i am not calling 911 anf goinn
tro hispouitak
Genny: howpital
and need to be the immediate concern
with later, and they can be dealt with and you can
feel better
RedStem: Genny: please go... i know
that ativan and klonopin in regular dose are to
relieve pain... but the liver can only handle so much
though and that involves you getting real, and
immediate assistance from a doctor
Milly: that's right genny. the rest will
follow. don't worry about anything else
RedStem: Genny: you are an
intelligent, friendly and valued person... i would and
do not like you to see you hurt yourself.. i
understand the reasons for od... i have done it
myself...
they will take time and steps. the first step is
seeing a doctor immediately before the medications you
have taken too much of cause you any more harm
RedStem: Genny: things do get better
in time... even though it does not seem like it at the
moment
Genny: ok, thaks alll for the
recommensations; i willl take them unders == serious
cnsiderations,
Genny: nite all
RedStem: Genny: pleaseee...
Milly: don't leave genny
Genny: i; getting tired
RedStem: Genny: if you cant call 911
give me address so i can
Milly: you must stay awake gen
Genny: no red
you took have a tranquilizing effect. you need to
stay awake right now
Genny: i am sick of the [hospitals|hspitasl]
the drugs work through your system.
Milly: we all get sick of the hospitals
RedStem: Genny: i can understand
that, but right now the hospital is the only thing
that can help with excess meds
Genny: why, transquizig effects usually
wera off the nedt day after ny=uch sleeoping
Milly: the problem is the klonopin has a
half life of between 19 and 55 hours
ativan that is in your system right now, sleeping is
very dangerous.
Milly: and you have to stay awake for a
minimum of 19 hours
Genny: i dont' belibve do
Genny: and i will show you all tmoroow when
i rreturn to the fary
force you into going to the hospital by breaking your
privacy, but we need you to stay awake
Milly: fair
about the fair.
Milly: we all are and i'm getting more
confused by the minute
Genny: have a good nite all'and din;t think
it' son't appriraicate your effordts to keep me sane]
Milly: it's an old term. [return to the
fair].
hospital at least stay and talk to use
Genny: birdy, i ajm tired.
good right now
Milly: Genny go make some coffee
Milly: got any no doze
Milly: dumb question. what would a [bipolar|bp] be
doing with [no doze]
Genny: thanks fo your si=ejitiity but i
muswt go now
Genny: nite all
Genny: i will report in thr morni
Milly: no genny you need to stay awake.
please stay
* Parts: Genny
Milly: omg
-> *Genny* are u there?
Milly: i'm pissed
* bluebirdy sighs
unless you get ahold of the three people that have her
address
dangerously drunk and i stayed with her 3 hours
Milly: dammit to hell with privacy. we
could have done something!!!!
pray, and hope.
RedStem: bluebirdy: well if you know
who they are shoot off an email or msg the on the
boards
Milly: i'm drained. been at it since 5am
* bluebirdy hugs Milly
i think marge
Milly: forget tapper. he knows and he
bailed
...i have nver figured out the boards.
Milly: i begged him to pm me. he could
have passed the buck to me and i would have taken it
from there
could do
RedStem: bluebirdy: let me give them
quick pm on boards then
Milly: i really don't care if she got mad
at me or not as long as it saved her life or kept her
from permently harming herself
Milly: hello guest
{irrelevant conversation in room}
There was much talk in PM’s and phone calls were made. I did not have access to a phone, but went instant messaging. In the PM’s I was begged by Genny’s best friend to please call 911. She was unable to do it herself because she does not live in the USA. I Instant messaged every person I could find and was unsuccessful. Wertperch then used the catbox to help.
<[wertperch]> Serious request : Anyone in North
Americans there who know how to contact emergency
services? Please /msg [bluebird_is_sad]15:36
is a reason, a SERIOUS reason
fransisco who has overdosed and is in need of an
ambulance. i do not have access to a phone but have her
real name/address can some one please help. she is
runnig out of tmie
Many people offered help. I am very appreciative of all the /msgs I have received and many of you have even found me on the IM’s. [siouxsie] deserves most of the credit. She is the one that made the phone call. She may have saved Genny’s life. I hope everyone here throws lots of love at [siouxsie|momma Susie] for this.
During this time we finally were able to contact “Nutter” who called Genny on the telephone. There was no answer. Nutter however does not live within the states and could not find a way of contacting any help for “Genny”. Genny had called all of her friends and her family and made amends the day before.
jbirdy: she did not kill herself as she
planned. she went to the ocean to die and turned
back. at least part of her wants to live
jbirdy: i would call if i could for you
nicola but i cannot use this phone here
nutter: so she went to the water and
came back
jbirdy: yes
jbirdy: but when she came back she overdosed
on klonopin and ativan
nutter: someone needs to call 911 for me
jbirdy: but i do not have access to a phone
jbirdy: i really wish i could
jbirdy: i was even trying to IM people i knew
earlllier to get them to call someone for me to call
her
jbirdy: have we found someone who can call?
nutter: no
nutter: 911 cant be long distance
nutter: is it?
nutter: cant be
jbirdy: i believe you can call local 911 and
tell them where u need to be connected to
nutter: ifeel like i have enough info to
do something address and phone number and real name
nutter: but i dont KNOW what to DO
jbirdy: nutter, give me the info and i'll risk
it…I’lll find a way
nutter: ok
nutter: ill pm you
jbirdy: k
jbirdy: i have someone calling 911 now
jbirdy: gave close online friend her
name/addy and she is on phone with emercengy services
now
jbirdy: so sorry it took so long
jbirdy: could not find anyone for long time
jbirdy: ambulance on way now
![](<a href="http://www.justsayhi.com/bb/stickers"><img style="border: 0;" src="http://www.oneplusyou.com/q/img/bb_badges/bumper_typos.jpg" alt="OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets" /></a><br />Created by <a href="http://www.oneplusyou.com">OnePlusYou</a>)
0 comments:
Post a Comment