Wednesday, April 14, 2004

February 10, 2002

Do you ever feel [unloved]?

Have you ever felt it’s all your fault?

I [wonder] why I bother to face another day

Each day is worse than the last and I [feel] [bad]

[I don’t] want to hurt anyone ever again but [I do]

I hurt people every day I’m alive, I can’t stop

All my family’s problems are all my fault.

I’m trying so hard but no one sees

I’m so sorry I screw up.

[Life sucks]. I want to die but that's not an option. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired but I can't sleep so I'm all [alone] [all night] long. My parents won't let me near the computer between 11pm-6am. I'm almost 21 years old but I have no where to go. I want to leave. They don't want me here. They make that more than clear. I'm so [miserable] and only being allowed to use the computer at the times when everyone is in here, watching tv and stuff, makes my online class almost impossiple. I just wonder what the point is in trying. I can't write decent essays for school and my nodes all suck. I just want to give up. I want to go hide in the corner with my [blanket], and just [closet thumbsucker|suck my thumb]. No more eating because I'm [fat]. Just sit in the corner, with my [blanky] and rock [back and forth] and let the inside people do whatever they want inside my head and rot away till I die, slowly and painfully.



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